Because I Love You

 Title: Because I Love You

Length: ~38,000+

Main Pairing: Harry/Draco

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Major Angst, Tragedy, Romance

Warnings: Mpreg, mentions of past rape, NC-17 for explicit sexual content

Summary: Draco knows what Harry desires the most, but can he overcome his fears to give in? 

Author's Note: I had originally written the following as part of a long prequel that was posted on Fanfic.net. I've since then taken the story down, deleted the prequel, and just finished the continuation.
This can be read as a stand alone, but there are somethings worth noting: Draco is a veel and Harry is his mate. There are mentions of rape and the war. Harry and Draco try to deal with the aftermath of this as well as the new problems that come along in this story.
Sometime, I hope to rewrite the prequel and post it here.
Till then, enjoy!

**

Prologue

Four Years Later...

The war was long over and so were the childhood years of Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. Having married just months after the war, the two tried their best to move on with their lives. They had their ups and downs-the start was sure rocky-but they were young, in love, and full of dreams.

After finishing their final year at Hogwarts, the two went on to graduate school. Just as everyone suspected, Harry and Draco chose different paths, but it was surprising how easily they adjusted to each others' schedules without a single bicker.

Draco followed his long cherished dream of pursuing Potions and attended a well known school in the technical fields of Potions, Astronomy, Arthimancy, and Transfiguration. He graduated in two years instead of the expected four and was immediately invited to join a research team. For six long months, Draco wandered the exotic depth of the Amazon, living in strange straw teepees and walking across vine bridges with his research team as they stayed up long hours brewing a potion that would help rid a rare disease affecting albino unicorns. He enjoyed his student years immensely and became the youngest wizard to have an article congratulated in Wizard International, a well-acclaimed science and magic journal.

For his part, Harry was quite happy pursuing a career as an Auror, having latched onto the idea in his sixth year. The four year training program was both exhausting mentally and physically, but the work itself was well worth it. He finished his studies at the Hogwarts School of Dark Arts (only for Hogwarts students) and then joined the Wizarding Investigation Squad (WIS) at the Minister’s request. His salary was nowhere as modest as Draco’s, whom the whole wizarding world had come to respect despite his family’s shady past, but Harry was only too glad to pass on the limelight to his husband.

After two months of cutting it out in London, the couple set their sights abroad. Harry wanted to escape the city that tied him to his past and Draco certainly welcomed change.  So Harry sent a transfer request to his department and the Ministry promptly complied by sending him to their sister department in the United States.

Draco had by then returned from the Amazon and, eager for more research opportunities, he followed his husband to California where the couple settled in San Francisco, close to the International Relations Headquarters wherein lay Harry’s new department.

They bought a cozy three bedroom house overlooking the beautiful Golden Gate right at the heart of the Golden City and spent most of Harry’s free time traveling up and down California’s coast line.

Draco had no trouble finding a job when he decided to look for one a month later. He settled for a faculty post at the American Institute of Advanced Magical Studies as a Potions Master. Four days a week, he lectured in the afternoons and then had the mornings, evenings, and nights (when Harry couldn’t nag him to come home) to devote to his research in the excellent facilities provided by the University.

Overall, both were happy with their lives and each other, but sometimes, Harry had the feeling that something was missing.

****

Today was one of those times. It was a sunny Sunday morning and Harry was busy checking his e-mail on the breakfast table. He had bought a laptop after settling in and had even convinced Draco to use it to chat with Severus Snape (who for some reason knew about the technology). Although suspicious at first, Draco accepted the muggle technology just as he had come to accept a lot of muggle things since moving in with Harry.

Cars, telephones, TV, stereo, AC, etc; Draco thought all of it was simply junk and unnecessary, but coped with it for Harry’s sake who delighted in them. They used magic of course, but Harry only twirled his wand at work and Draco, mainly to clean their home. Apparition wasn’t as common in the U.S. as in England, so they stuck to the floo to get them to work and back. More often than not though, the two enjoyed driving around in their black Mustang.

Harry had insisted upon a driver’s license and had instructed his husband as well until they both were expert drivers. If anything, they loved the thrill behind the wheel and loved how they could travel around muggle places without appearing suspicious.

So for all his pompous upbringing and pureblood bravado, Draco Malfoy lived a humble and in part half muggle life with his half-blood husband whom he loved to death. He had no qualms, not after Harry gifted him with a rather irreplaceable muggle artifact on his twentieth birthday: the coffee maker.

Ever since trying it at a college gathering, Draco had developed a deep reverence for the bitter beverage. The stuff worked better than the Sleepless Potion he used to take during his graduate days and plus, it smelled delicious!

So this particular morning, Harry was not in the least surprised when his husband joined him at the breakfast table with a steaming mug of black Arabian coffee.

“Good morning, love. Had a good sleep?” Harry greeted as they shared a brief morning kiss.

“Mmm….morning.” Draco sipped the scalding liquid, smoothening the weekend paper on his lap. He still read The Daily Prophet (along with five other muggle and magical newspapers) everyday.

“You’re journal came in,” Harry said, sending a thick, serious looking edition skidding across the glass table.

“I was wondering when it would come.” Draco flipped through the contents, his eyes scanning the research endeavors expertly. His own paper was published in its depths, but Harry knew Draco wouldn’t even glance at it. For all his school boy boasting, Draco Malfoy-Potter had turned into a calm and humble man, and no one appreciated this change more than Harry who found his husband all the more charming for it.

“Anything interesting?” Harry questioned when he saw the corner of Draco’s lips twitch.

“They’ve found a way to modify my last potion,” he replied, now grinning broadly.

“The one with the hippogriffs?”

“No, the one with the threstals. These two blokes from Australia claim they can counteract the creature’s invisibility by mixing hippogriff and unicorn blood with my potion base.”

“And does it work?”

“They claim it does, but I’ve got my doubts. You know age-old magic is hard to reverse-“

“But not irreversible,” Harry replied, quoting his husband’s own words.

“Right. They might be close, but they won’t get the best results using my current potion base. You’d have to do some major altering to some of the ingredients. They’ve got the right idea though.”

Harry frowned. “Don’t you think it’s wrong of them to use your research to promote their work?”

Draco flipped a page, eyes still on the paper. “Not really. That’s just how science works.”

“Well I still don’t like it,” Harry huffed. “Why can’t they come up with their own potions?”

Draco chanced a glance at his pouting and thoroughly troubled husband. “They’ve given where credits due and clearly stated my name. I signed the forms for the potion’s use by anyone with the proper license when I came up with it so there’s nothing to justify here, baby. You don’t have to defend me.”

“No, I guess not.” Harry sighed and closed his laptop just as Draco finished skimming the journal, setting it aside for now. “I just don’t want anyone to rob you of anything, Draco. Merlin knows you work way too hard!”

Draco was touched by Harry’s thoughtfulness and didn’t hold back in letting him know. He leaned over his empty coffee mug and gave Harry a slow kiss. “Thanks, love. It means a lot to me,” he smiled.

Harry wasn’t willing to let Draco go so easily. Running his fingers through Draco’s silky strands, he pressed their lips together, his tongue darting out to roam Draco’s velvet cave. Draco had finally managed to reverse the veela’s power enough to let him cut his hair. Harry had loathed to see the long, velvet tresses go, but he was just as happy with Draco’s now not –too short hair. He loved raking his fingers through the silky depths and loved how the ends  curved about Draco’s neck.

“Mm…I’m hungry, love,” Draco moaned. “Make me pancakes?”

Who could refuse that voice? Harry headed towards the kitchen where he began taking the batter and syrup down while Draco followed him with his empty mug and Harry’s tea cup. For all his breakthroughs, Draco still hadn’t learned how to cook. Following recipes and potions directions was apparently starkly different. It suited Draco just fine because Harry in his opinion was the best cook in the world!

“You know, Ron and Hermione are in New York,” Harry casually put forth as he turned a golden pancake.

“Oh?” Draco plucked a grape from the fruit stand and studied it absentmindedly. “Weasel’s on vacation?”

Harry shot him a look that Draco returned with an innocent smile. “Ron got time off work. It seems Hermione finally gave in to a holiday-you know how hard she works. Apparently, Public Relations finally recognized her hard work. She’s getting promoted to VP, Draco.”

Draco was not surprised. He’d known it would happen sooner than later. He chewed the grape thoughtfully before swallowing.

“You want them to come over, is that it?”

“Can’t they?”

Draco studied Harry for a moment, reading the longing in those Hazel eyes. Harry maybe the dominant veela in their relationship, but he hardly exercised his power. Draco knew he had more freedom than most submissive veelas and, given that this was a homosexual relationship, he was grateful for his husband’s consideration.

“Sure, summer break’s in a week. They can come if they want.”

If Draco had any doubts about their visit, they were easily erased as he watched the wide smile that lit up Harry’s features. Any number of Weasleys were worth that priceless picture.

“Thanks love,” Harry warmly replied as he carried their plates to the breakfast table. Draco followed him with syrup and they sat down to dig in. “You’ll be off in a week won’t you?”

Draco nodded. The Institute closed for the summer, which made Harry happy to have his husband to himself for three glorious months.

“We could show them around when they come then. Getting time off my work won’t be a problem-my holiday pass is building up anyways-and Jenny will absolutely love the sea breezes. You remember Jenny, don’t you? She was only two months old when we left England. She’ll now be what-?” Harry’s eyes grew wide. “Merlin, Draco! She’ll be four!”

“She’s a child, Harry. She grows.”

“I know but it’s still hard to believe…” Harry shook his head. “Time flies by so fast! It almost feels like yesterday that Hermione gave birth to her.”

Draco wrinkled his nose then quickly ducked his head, avoiding Harry’s gaze. His actions weren’t missed.

“What?” Harry naively asked.

“Nothing-“

“No love, you didn’t like what I just said, right?”

Draco shrugged and concentrated on finishing his pancakes. Harry couldn’t suppress a smile. He knew what thoughts ran through his husband’s mind. Harry decided to change tactics.

“What do you think of Jenny?”

“Hm?” Draco, who suspected something, but was too engrossed in his sweet breakfast to care replied, “She’s smart, no doubt she has Granger’s genes-“

“Hermione’s Draco,” Harry corrected, “and I think Jenny’s positively sweet! Infact-“ he glanced mischievously at Draco, “-I love all children, don’t you?”

Draco shrugged again, growing increasingly uncomfortable. He took a large bite of his pancake to allow him time to think. They hadn’t discussed children, not since their wedding night, when Harry thoroughly mortified Draco by admitting to the whole hall that he wanted a large family.

“We’re too young, Harry-“

“We’re twenty-two!”

“You’re twenty-two! I’m still twenty-one!”

“Only till August-“

“Harry!” Draco set down his fork. “I don’t want to talk about this right now.”

“But we’re going to have to talk about this sometime-“

“I know just-just not now…please?”

Harry sighed, but seeing Draco’s agitation, he gave in. He didn’t understand why the blonde always avoided the topic. What was so bad about having a family? Didn’t he want one as well? Being a pureblood, Harry knew Draco would at least crave a heir, but…

Something wasn’t right, yet he knew he couldn’t force the blonde to talk. His husband was stubborn as a mule and only let slip the thoughts he really wanted known. Even after five years of marriage Harry still couldn’t quite figure out his cryptic husband.

“Are you done?”

Draco’s voice brought Harry from his daydreams and he vaguely nodded. Draco took up their dishes and took them to the kitchen where he promptly charmed them to clean themselves. He rummaged in the fridge and poured two glasses of orange juice. Harry watched him from the doorway. Draco had grown quiet since the war, but he knew his husband was deliberately avoiding conversation now. He had officially spoiled Draco’s relaxing weekend. Chastising himself for being so blunt, Harry tiptoed behind the blonde and slipped his arms around his slender waist.

“Is someone mad at me?” he whispered, nuzzling Draco’s neck and planting soft kisses.

Draco lifted his shoulders, feeling ticklish. “I’m not…angry, but I don’t want to discuss this.”

Harry turned his husband so that they faced each other. “I’m not saying we have to do anything now, Draco. I just want to know what you’re thoughts are on children. I feel like I’m the only one who wants any.”

Draco shook his head. “It’s not that I don’t want any. I just…” He bit his lip and dropped his gaze.

Harry bent down to peer into his shaded eyes. “You’re just not ready?”

Draco slowly nodded. “I’ll talk about it when I feel like it…Is that ok?”

He asked in such a small voice, that Harry couldn’t help but nod. He smiled sadly, then embraced Draco, kissing the top of his head softly.

“I love you,” he heard him say as his arms encircle his back.

Harry closed his eyes and softly replied, “I love you too, love.”

Sweet Surprises

Another week sped by. Draco officially came home from the last day of work, towing bags of gifts and bouquets as usual. They were from graduating students he explained to Harry every time, but Harry nevertheless became jealous when he noticed that most of the ‘students’ were pretty, young females (and not surprisingly some males). Draco managed to ignore him.

“Chocolate frog?” He held out a box of assorted chocolates and Harry made a face. “Oh, come on love. You love chocolate.”

“Not at dinner time I don’t.”

“You’ve already made dinner?” Draco asked as he munched on the chocolate, happily licking his lips. “It’s barely six-“

“We have to pick them up at seven-or have you forgotten?”

“Oh.” He had, but he didn’t show it. “I’ll go get ready then.”

*******

The youngest Weasley couple came the muggle way: by plane. They couldn’t very well apparate with a four year old in tow and, international policies being strict, it was impossible to exercise a British floo license in America. So planes it was.

Harry and Draco reached the airport a half hour before the flight was scheduled to land. They killed sometime at the bookstore where Draco skimmed the magazines while Harry listlessly watched him, touching here and there and earning smart slaps on the hand.

When the announcement of the plane’s arrival finally rang through the airport, they made their way to wait outside Baggage Claim. With summer already here, the airport was crowded more than usual.

“Just look for red hair. You can’t miss it,” Draco muttered as Harry anxiously scanned the crowd.

His eyes grew wide and he frantically waved when he spotted Hermione’s bushy hair. The witch smiled brightly and pushed the luggage laden cart towards them. A tall, but not too gangly Ron followed with a little girl in tow.

“Oh Harry, I’ve missed you!” Hermione cried, pulling her friend in a bone-crushing hug.

“I’ve missed you too ‘Mione,” Harry smiled. She hadn’t changed much, except she looked more mature dressed in a skirt and loose top. Her petite figure was still there, but her hips had permanently widened since her daughter’s delivery.

Ron on the other hand, had tanned considerably and his freckles were barely visible. His figure had broadened to match his tall frame so that he looked more muscular than gangly. He shook hands, exclaiming his excitement loudly, and shared a brief hug with his best mate.

Then Draco held his hand out with an odd smirk and Ron, who must have been lectured by his wife before hand, civilly shook it, exchanging a few polite remarks.

“Let me introduce my daughter Jenny,” Ron said, picking up the little girl who had been hiding behind her daddy’s long legs. “Meet your godfather Harry.”

She looked at them shyly with large brown eyes, definitely her mother’s.

“Hello Jenny,” Harry smiled, affectionately tousling her soft red curls.

“Say hi, sweetheart,” Hermione said.

“Hi, Harry,” Jenny obeyed in a sweet voice and startled her godfather with a heart wrenching smile.

“What a heart stopper,” Draco whistled, pulling out a candy bar from his jacket pocket. “Do you like chocolate Angel?” he asked with a soft smile that startled everyone present.

Jenny took the candy bar without a word and, to their surprise, reached up to kiss Draco on the cheek. “Thank you Uncle Draco,” she smiled, and Draco froze.

“Uncle?” he gasped. “Did you teach her that?” he rounded on Hermione who couldn’t stop herself from chuckling. “So Harry gets to play the friendly godfather while I’m stuck with the role of a candy-laden uncle?”

Harry only shook his head, laughing silently as he followed a snickering Ron towards the exit.

“You play the part well,” Hermione said as Draco pushed the heavy cart for her.

“Not much of a compliment,” he grumbled, his eyes settling on Jenny who was now in Harry’s arms.

He helped her load the bags in the trunk and then they were off. Though the ride home stretched an hour long, it was far from unpleasant. The Golden Trio chatted excitedly, catching up on lost years without stopping. Draco drove silently, glancing in the rear view mirror from time to time at the little girl who was fast asleep in her mother’s arms, the candy still tucked in her little fist.

When they drove into the driveway, Draco and Ron relieved the trunk while Harry showed Hermione around the house. Hermione absolutely loved their cozy house. The modest living room with its elegant furnishing; the spacious kitchen with many muggle appliances; two bathrooms that looked extremely inviting and relaxing; the study with its immense collection of books; the very welcome guest room; and the couple’s own room which voiced both their personalities in perfect harmony. Slytherin green and Gryffindor red greeted her in odd corners of the house.

“Harry, I’m glad to see you’re so happy,” she sincerely said.

“I know-thanks, but I couldn’t have done it without Draco.” They joined the others in the living room where Draco and Ron were watching Jenny as she went about exploring her new surroundings.

“Mommy I’m hungry,” Jenny whined, holding up her tiny arms to her mother, but before Hermione could so much as scold her for her rudeness, Harry scooped her into his arms and threw her into the air.

“Well I’ll start dinner then,” Draco smiled as Jenny squealed. “Go into the foyer, love, I’ll call you when everything’s set up.”

Too happy to be with Jenny to argue, Harry led Ron away as instructed while his husband disappeared into the kitchen. Hermione followed the blonde, knowing Jenny wouldn’t miss her for a while.

“So how are things with Harry?” she asked while Draco pulled down plates.

“Hm? Fine, I guess. His leave will be over soon,” Draco absently replied.

“Let me take those-“ Hermione took the heavy plates from his hands and began setting them up on the dining table. She could see Draco warming up food over the counter.

“Congrats on your promotion, by the way,” he called to her. “I wasn’t surprised, knew you’d be rewarded eventually with all the ruckus you caused in the department.”

Hermione blushed, remembering the scandal that ensued after her unnerving demands for change, but thanked the blonde politely.

 “How’s your work going?” she asked, hoping to engage him.

“I’m on vacation, a long one at that.”

“I’m sure Harry’s happy. He always complains about your workaholic habits-“

“I’m not a workaholic. Harry’s just unnaturally jealous.”

“Of who?”

“The students and my cauldron.”

Hermione laughed. “Well, I wouldn’t be surprised.” She helped him bring the food to the table. “Smells delicious,” she smiled. “What is it?”

“No idea,” Draco replied, “Harry cooked.” He lifted the lid off a pot and stuck out his tongue. “He’s made the Weasel special: beef curry in a disgusting tomato sauce.”

“Don’t let Ron hear you say that,” Hermione giggled.

“Say what?” Ron stuck his red hair around the corner. “If you’re making fun of me in front of my wife Ferret, I won’t forgive you,” he teased, ducking as he walked in to avoid hitting his head on the door frame.

Draco smirked. “Why? Are you embarrassed I’ll reveal something she doesn’t know?”

“Not even two hours together and you’re already fighting,” Harry said as he entered the scene. Jenny was still in his arms. Draco wasn’t surprised when he pulled a chair next to her after settling her beside her mother.

“Ginger wasn’t exactly in the bargain when I mated with you,” Draco smoothly replied, reaching for buttered bread.

“And I’ll bet God had to bargain with the Devil to pair you two,” Ron retorted and then gasped when Harry ladled curry into his bowl. “You made my favorite mate!” he cried, happily accepting four whole scoops.

“And extra spicy the way you like it,” Harry smiled watching him gulp mouthfuls like a kid.

“God, Harry! Why the hell did you become an Auror? If I’d known your hidden talent, I’d have employed you as a personal cook!”

‘“Are you implying that Granger’s bad?” Draco sneered, earning a playful jab from Hermione.

“Consider yourself lucky that you’re with my best mate. He can’t cook can he?” Ron asked Harry.

Harry shook his head, smiling. “No, the first and last time he tried he blew up half the kitchen.”

“How did you manage that?” Hermione asked, feeding Jenny with one hand while she sipped soup with her other.

“He put pasta in a plastic bowl and then shoved it in the microwave,” Harry answered.

“I didn’t know how to work that thing!” Draco cried in his defense as the laughter rose. “You were the one who said you used it to warm things up. It’s your fault for not giving me clear directions-“

“Some common sense might’a helped,” Ron added, sniggering.

“Oh, Ronald don’t go picking on him,” Hermione scolded. “Have you forgotten the washing machine incident?”

“What happened?” Draco asked as Ron’s ears instantly pinked.

“That was a long time ago ‘Mione,” Ron replied, but that didn’t stop his wife from spilling the details.

Harry sat back contently in the chair, happy to be with his best friends and to see his mate enjoying himself as they bantered back and forth. His eyes fell on Jenny of their own accord and he smiled as he watched her making a mess of her food. The table was a little too tall for her. He’d have to remember to buy a high chair one of these days, just for special visitors like her.

“Let me help you, love,” he said, taking the blunt knife from her hand and cutting up the meat for her.

Draco, who hadn’t missed these attentions even in the middle if his banter, felt his stomach flip. He saw now how clearly his husband wanted children and the thought made him more than uncomfortable, it made him sick.

*****************************

Note:: Spelling mistakes in dialogue intended

They didn’t sleep until well past midnight, playing chess, drinking wine, and just chatting. Of course, Draco didn’t feel much like talking. Jenny had long since dozed off and carried away by her father to the guest room.  Draco really had no interest in the Trio’s chatter-he felt out of place in the circle even now- and he was rightfully bored. So he resorted to the last thing he ever did: he drank…and he drank…and he drank…

And then he talked or stuttered or blabbered-whatever it was that he did whenever he was really drunk, but no one seemed to mind because they were just as drunk as or more than he was. He noticed even through all the haze that Hermione was a giggly drunk, clinging to Wesley like a teenage girl. He had thought the red-head would be an angry drunk, but he was actually pretty sober.

Draco hated that. Why did Ginger look like he could hold his liquor better than him, a Malfoy? It wasn’t fair!

“I know i’s not fair, love,” Harry breathed in his ear, “but Ron can hardly help it.”

Oops! Had he said that aloud? He hiccupped, turning to Harry who was happily cradling him in his lap, smiling goofily at him.

“You always talk when you’re drunk,” he murmured, his lips brushing his briefly. “You chatty drunk.”

“Jealous you can’t hold your booze, Ferret?” Ron cried, making Granger giggle.

Draco vaguely noted that he was louder than usual, or perhaps his senses were overly off the radar. He didn’t know.

“You’re jus’ an alcoholic you twat,” he sneered, his voice slurring horribly. He could have spoken a foreign language for all his words were worth, but they were all long past caring.

When Ron didn’t burst in flames as expected, Draco decided he couldn’t let the golden opportunity pass, even in his half-conscious state. “Just a wanker – a useless wanker!” he mumbled.

“He’s not makin’ sense Harry,” Ginger grumbled. “He’s worse than a bloody girl!”

“Hey!” He got a good whack on the head for that and he deserved it too.

“You never were a ladies’ man,” Draco drawled, sinking further into Harry’s arms as Harry giggled uncontrollably. He hiccupped again and was suddenly aware of how hot he was. His skin was burning as if he had a fever and he could feel the heat radiating off Harry like hot waves in a dessert.

He licked his lips, suddenly thirsty, and squirmed in Harry’s lap, reaching out an unsteady had to grab his husband’s drink. But Harry got there first, placing the drink out of his reach.

“Harry,” he moaned, stretching his arm futily.

“You’ve had enough,” his husband retorted, downing the last of the blissful ambrosia and eliciting an angry groan from the blonde.

“I was thirsty!” he slurred, frowning deeply and trying to fix Harry with his gaze. He blinked several times. He couldn’t tell which Harry was which.

Oh he could feel him alright, pushing him off his legs and onto his back on the couch. Harry was leaning over him, swaying from side to side like a cobra.  He looked like he was dancing. First there were three Harry’s, meshing in and out, then four and then six. Draco giggled.

“Wha’s so funny?” Harry asked, his voice hoarse.

Draco cocked his head. Was that lust he heard in his husband’s voice? Draco knew, stupidly drunk or not, that Harry’s voice only got like that when he wanted to fuck him and fuck him hard.

He giggled at the realization again, raising his arms and locking them behind Harry’s neck.

“You wanna fuck me Harry?” he asked when Harry didn’t make a move. “I wan’ you to fuck me with your cock. I wan’ you to make me cum hard. I wan-“

But he didn’t get to finish telling him how much he wanted him when Harry cut him off, swooping down to catch him in a very sloppy, drunken kiss. Their tongues danced aggressively, slipping and sliding unsteadily as they hungrily devouvered each other.

When Harry’s warm hands caressed his hot chest, Draco moaned into his mouth. He broke the kiss, panting as Harry squeezed and tugged at his overly sensitive nipples. Clumsily, he found Harry’s belt buckle and began fumbling with it, trying to unlock it while Harry’s tongue teased him.

This was pure torture! He groaned angrily, trying to push Harry away, but Harry only bit his right nipple hard, making him gasp.

“Stop…teasing!” Draco cried, tugging at his pants. “Take ‘m off-now!”

Harry loosened his belt buckle and a rush of unease suddenly flooded through him. He turned to look at the couple who he had momentarily forgotten about in his height of ecstasy. His best friends were staring at him open-mouthed like fish out of water and if his situation had been less precarious, Harry would have laughed right out loud at their expressions.

“Not nicssse, ‘Arry,” Hermione hiccupped and then giggled, her arms circling Ron’s shoulders. “Don’ take advantage of ‘im.”

“Harrryy,” Draco moaned, oblivious to the scene he had made. “Want you-in me!” he panted, trying to grind his hips against his husbands.

Harry leaned over him again and kissed him softly, making him moan. “You’re drunk, love,” he whispered against his lips. “Not no-“

“No!” Draco whined, pulling Harry by the shirt front and refusing to let go. “I’m hard! I wan’-I need you!”

And even through the loose material of his Capri pants, Harry saw he was hard. He turned to his friends again, only to find them engaged in an intimate snogging session. Feeling this was as good a time as any, Harry gathered his bundle of love and made his way a little tipsily to their room.

He dumped Draco unceremoniously on their bed and crawled over him, locking his lips over the blonde’s. Draco moaned loudly when he felt Harry’s warm hands glide up his spine beneath his shirt. With one hand, he fumbled with the buttons of his shirt while deepening their kiss. Harry slid the material off Draco’s pale shoulders as the blonde climbed to his knees, pushing Harry onto his back and straddling his waist.

He tore at Harry’s thin shirt and bent down to attack his neck, kissing, biting, and licking the taunt flesh. Harry blindly ran his hand through the blonde’s soft hair, wincing when he felt the teasing teeth draw blood. He raised his leg, rubbing his knee against Draco’s growing bulge, making the blonde pull away with a gasp.

“Do me!” he purred, his face flushed from heat and intoxication. Harry caressed his cheek lovingly. He was having a mighty difficult time keeping himself under control. For all his desires knew, he wanted to slam Draco onto the mattress and fuck him senseless, but Harry knew after living eight years with him that Draco still cradled the fear of that night in the dorms and it wouldn’t hesitate to surface at the slightest rough handling, even if the blonde was drunk out of his mind. He spelled Draco’s pants off, earning a sigh and a needy peck on the lips when his erection sprang free.

“Let me get the condom-“ Harry huskily began, but the blonde silenced him with a kiss, pinning him on his back with his weight.

“No condom,” he croaked, “I want you-in me…raw.”

Harry’s eyes widened at the implication. He knew the blonde wasn’t thinking straight at the consequences of their act-well, Draco had admitted himself he wasn’t ready.

“I can’t Draco,” he said, turning away when Draco tried to silence him again. “You’re not thinking straight. You don’t want this, remember?”

“Don’t tell me what I want and don’t, Potter,” Draco barked and Harry winced. His husband only ever used his previous last name when really angry. “I wan’ you in me-whether you like it or not-now!”

Harry searched his grey eyes, hazy with need and alcohol. He pulled Draco into his arms and turned around so that Draco was beneath him. “I’m sorry, love,” he whispered even as he cast the spell. “I love you too much to do this to you.”

Draco vaguely registered the words as his eyes glazed over and he slumped in Harry’s arms, unconscious. Harry pulled the covers over him and sighed, tracing a finger over Draco’s warm, flushed cheek.

What am I going to do with you, Draco? he thought as he unzipped his pants to take care of his unsatisfied arousal.

Serious Contemplation

Draco knew he’d screwed up when he woke up half naked and alone on their bed cradling a major headache. His first thought was that Harry had knocked him up in their drunken stupor, but then he remembered the hazy words just before he slipped into oblivion and Draco felt ever guilty for tempting Harry like a heartless Siren.

He stumbled to their bathroom and went through his daily routine, taking extra care to brush his teeth more vigorously than usual. He hated the taste and smell of stale alcohol. For a good half hour, he indulged himself under the shower, then dressed, groomed, drank a half vial of Hangover Potion, and exited, satisfied with his appearance.

 The Trio were in the kitchen, eating his husband’s infamous pancakes. They greeted him politely when he arrived, although Ron couldn’t help slipping in a few tasteless comments on his behavior last night.

“Glad to be of amusement, Weasley,” Draco replied, taking the jibes in stride. “A Malfoy is always a good host.” And he shared a morning kiss with Harry, going deliberately slow.

Hermione cleared her throat before her husband could make any more rude remarks. “So, what are the plans? Are you guys going to show us around or what?”

“That’s the plan.” Harry ladled two pancakes onto Draco’s plate and poured a river of syrup before handing it to his drooling husband. “Draco and I are your tour guides for today.”

“So you’ll take us to the bridge then?” Ron excitedly asked. “I’ve been wanting to see it so I can rub it in my colleagues face you know. He’s always going on about what a legacy it is-“

“That it is,” Draco cut in, licking syrup off his fingers.

“Well, let’s also see Crooked Street and Cloit Tower while we’re at it,” Hermione added.

“Jenny might appreciate the zoo and the Golden Gate Park,” Harry noted. “Draco, you think you can book tickets to the Science Academy?”

Hermione’s eyes shone like a child at that and she practically skipped on the way to the guest room when Draco gave a silent nod.

“What’s at the Academy?” Ron asked, watching his wife go with a dreamy smile.

“Oh a museum, an artificial rainforest, ocean life, shows, the planetarium, the usual,” Draco replied, helping himself to more syrup.

Ron made a face. “Drown in it, won’t you? You’ve got a longer sweet tooth than Jenny and she’s only four!”

“That’s because he’s spoiled rotten by his students,” Harry laughed and Draco rolled his eyes.

“At least I’m loved,” he sneered as Hermione came back with Jenny in her arms.

“Hey Jenny!” Harry cooed immediately making room for her. And for the rest of breakfast, his goddaughter claimed all his attention.

I shouldn’t be jealous, Draco thought…but he was.

************

Hermione and Ron had a grand time touring San Francisco with their tour guides. Harry parked the car somewhere along Fisherman’s Wharf and for the rest of the way, they walked; Harry taking turns carrying Jenny in his arms with Ron whenever the hills became too much for the little girl.

Harry took them around all the promised places, since his husband couldn’t be trusted with directions. Draco however, was comfortable enough answering any questions Hermione threw at him. Even if he was a little spatially absentminded, Hermione had to admit, the blonde knew his facts and history well.

Golden Gate Park was their last stop and by the time they trudged into the Academy of Science, they were all thoroughly tired. Jenny on the other hand, crawled out of her Father’s arms, excited by the various attractions. Ron and Harry trailed after her while Hermione and Draco followed at a slower pace as Hermione wanted to study each exhibit on her own.

When they came to the kid’s area, Harry announced he was taking Jenny to the Splash Zone. Draco, who didn’t fancy getting wet, retired to the Café with Hermione while Ron and Harry took the four-year-old inside.

“Do you want me to get you anything?” Draco asked. “I’m having coffee.”

She looked at him pointedly. “In the evening?”

“I don’t have a set time. Do you want a frappacino?”

“I’ll have the caramel one then.”

He returned shortly with their drinks, diving straight into his coffee without heed.

“Harry’s certainly attached to Jenny,” Hermione said after a time. “He’ll make a good father.”

Draco nodded, trying to appear nonchalant, but Hermione didn’t miss the tiny fall of his lips.

“You know, I think you two are the only Veela couple in a hundred years who have gone so long without consuming. Most relationships collapse under the strain-at least those I’ve read about.”

“You’ve been researching?” he asked.

“A little bit. Harry, in his e-mails, told me the discussion you two had. He really wants kids.”

Draco sighed. “I know…I see it all too plainly now.” He took a long sip of the scalding liquid, letting it burn down his throat. “I’m just…scared.”

“Of what?” Hermione pressed when the blonde became silent.

Draco shrugged. “It’s got something to do with-with my genes.” He stared at her suddenly, pinning her with his intense eyes. “If I tell you, Hermione, you have to promise not to tell Harry. I’ll let him know when I’m ready.”

“You trust me?”

“I have to trust someone in this.”

“Then I’m with you,” she smiled and encouraged him to go on.

He gave her a thin smile of his own before becoming serious again. “I’m a Malfoy, Hermione, and my ancestors have intermarried for generations. It’s kept our line alive, yes, but not without complications…Every Malfoy in history, including the females, has always been dominant, which is why they’re considered full-blooded Veelas. My mother however, is only half, which makes me-“

“A submissive,” Hermione finished and Draco nodded. “But how is this a problem?”

“Under normal circumstances it wouldn’t be.”  He took a swig of his coffee again and licked his lips, trying to gather his thoughts. “I’m only the second Malfoy to have submissive blood. My Aunt three generations ago was the first.” He dropped his gaze and closed his eyes, trying to quell the emotions raging within him.

“Draco,” Hermione laid her hand on his. “What happens if you become pregnant?”

“There could be complications,” he quietly replied.

“Like what?”

Draco shook his head. “I don’t know…There’s a reason for it of course. Since I’m submissive, I’ve received almost all recessive traits from Father and most of them…aren’t good.”

Her hold on his hand tightened. “What do you mean?” she all but whispered.

“There’s…a disease that runs in my family. It’s the product of too many intermarriages, and the males are carriers…”

“So you think you’re father passed the gene onto you?” Her voice shook as she spoke.

“He did. I-Mother told me after-after Father’s passing.”

Hermione bit her lip to stop it from quivering. “Is it life-threatening? Will you-will you-“

“Will I die from it?” he gave her a small smile and nodded. “No-“ and she sighed in relief, “-it won’t kill me, but my Aunt…She lost her child during childbirth and-and she never had children again.”

Hermione gasped in surprise. She had never heard of any pureblood who could not produce an heir. Keeping their line alive was a prerogative to them.

Draco’s hands trembled as he answered her questioning gaze. “It’s my blood, Hermione. It doesn’t allow the child to grow normally…It acts like a-like a poison.”

“But you’re a Veela, Draco. It’s ingrained in your blood to protect the child at all cost.”

“In my Veela blood yes, but not my own. I could kill it, Hermione. M-my own blood could murder it even before it’s-“

“Shhh…” And Hermione got out of her seat so she could envelope him in her arms. He was shaking so badly that all she could do was rub her hands along his back, willing her warmth to seep into him. “It’s ok, Draco,” she mumbled, not at all sure her words were comforting. She could feel his throat working up and down, trying to keep the tears at bay.

She knew this was hard for him-it would be for anyone. How he must have lived with the terrible secret for all these years, she couldn’t even begin to guess.

“Hermione…I-I don’t feel well,” he whispered, his voice hoarse.

She pulled back a little and pressed her palm to his forehead. “You do feel warm…Can you stay put? I’ll go get Harry.”

He nodded and dropped his head in his hands, squeezing his eyes shut to keep the dizziness at bay. Making sure he wasn’t about to topple off the chair, Hermione hurriedly made her way to the Splash Zone. She barely reached the entrance when Harry came out, looking wet and worried.

“What’s wrong?” he asked as soon as he spotted Hermione. “Is Draco alright?” He had felt uneasy for some time, but he brushed it off until an intense wave of sadness washed over him.

“I think he has a fever,” she replied, not wanting to tell Harry the real reason. She led him to the Café and, upon spotting Draco slumped over the little table, he ran to his side.

“Draco?” Harry called, wrapping a wet arm around his shoulders and feeling his forehead.

“Ungh…I have a headache,” he moaned.

Harry frowned, spotting the large cup of coffee. “Are you dizzy?” he asked and his frown deepened when the blonde nodded.

“What’s going on?” Ron asked as he flopped over, holding his daughter by her hand. He was dripping wet and picked up his equally water-logged daughter. “Is Ferret alright?”

“He’s fine,” Harry seethed, “He just had too much coffee again! What did the doctor tell you Draco? This is the third time this has happened!”

“Harry, don’t shout!” Draco groaned, clutching his aching head. “Please…”

Ron found how the blonde shrank from his best mate amusing, but he held his tongue. “Do you want me to go get the car?” he asked instead as Jenny slid from his arms and climbed into her mother’s.

“That won’t be necessary,” Harry coolly replied, tugging at Draco’s arm. “He’ll walk.”

“I don’t think it’s such a good idea,” Hermione said when the blonde swayed a bit and clutched the table to steady himself.

“He’ll live,” was his husband’s reply. “If you’re going to keep defying the doctor’s orders, you might as well learn to pay the consequences.”

Draco wanted to smack his heartless husband, but he didn’t have much energy to do so. He clung to Harry’s arm and let him steer him out the building. It was late evening, but the setting sun hit him like a neon light and he stumbled, blinking rapidly. His head throbbed painfully and he sank to the ground, feeling nauseous.

“Shit Draco,” Harry cursed, knowing he couldn’t punish Draco like he deserved. He half carried him to a shaded bench and made him sit down, thrusting a bottle of water in his clammy hands, telling him to drink. Draco obeyed, taking small sips while his husband dashed off to get the car. Hermione laid a comforting hand on his shoulder while Ron kept his daughter distracted.

“You didn’t tell him did you?” Draco asked, his face flushed with fever.

“No, I didn’t,” Hermione assured him. “Why do you drink so much coffee?” she asked after a time, feeling his addiction rather amusing.

“I don’t know. It tastes good?” She could tell he was lying however, but decided not to press the subject.

Draco closed his eyes, trying to block out the insistent throbbing in his head. He could hear Jenny’s happy squeals as Ron amused her and he couldn’t help smiling weakly. He suddenly looked up and squinted at Hermione, whose worried gaze had never left him.

“How did it feel…to have her inside you?” he asked, a little embarrassed.

She smiled at his innocence and replied honestly, “It was draining. I was vomiting the first couple weeks, I had weird cravings, I almost beat the hell out of Ron, and I was tired a lot, but it was all worth it. The labor itself was very painful, but when I held her for the first time, I couldn’t remember the pain. You have to give up a certain things Draco, but trust me, what you gain in return is worth a thousand times more.”

He only nodded, not sure what to say. He looked at Jenny and wondered what it would be like to have a daughter just like her that was his own. The mere thought made him smile.

“Are you thinking of telling him?” Hermione asked, noting how quiet the blonde had grown.

He nodded. “I’ll have to eventually…He’s not going to like it-“

“But he’ll understand. Even if he gets angry, Harry will come around. He loves you too much to blame you, Draco.”

And as always, Hermione Granger was right.

Problems and Solutions

Hermione came out in the living room, having tucked Jenny in to bed. Ron was taking a shower and she saw this as her opportunity. She found Harry out on the small balcony, leaning on his elbows on the rail, a cup of cold juice in one hand.

“Is everything alright Harry?” she asked, coming up behind him and putting a comforting hand on his back.

Harry sighed heavily and drained his glass. He smacked his lips noisily and shook his head, staring glumly ahead.

“How is he?” Hermione quietly asked.

“Sleeping.” He rubbed his forehead, looking increasingly like an overworked man. “I don’t know why he does it,” he said after a time. “Draco knows what coffee does to him…He can’t sleep at night because he drinks so much during the day-“

“But why, Harry? Why is he so addicted?”

Harry shrugged. It was one of the things he didn’t know himself and he didn’t think he would understand even if he knew. “He says it keeps him alert at work. You know what a workaholic he’s become, ‘Mione. I told you that he doesn’t come home past midnight on weekdays-it drives me nuts!”

“Have you talked to him about it?”

“Tried to, yes. The last time I tried, we had a full blown argument and he didn’t talk to me for a whole week! Do I deserve this? All I ask is that he come home like a normal person and spend some time with me-his husband! Is that too much to ask? Doesn’t Ron complain when you work late?”

She smiled at the mention of Ron, remembering the days before Jenny. “We had fights every day, Harry, but that was before Jenny. My schedule now revolves around her. Ron can’t complain.”

He tapped the empty cup with his fingers and frowned. “Kids really change your lives don’t they?” he muttered so quietly that Hermione would have thought he was talking to himself if she didn’t know better.

“They do, but it’s a compromise, Harry. I give up a lot of my time for Jenny now and Ron helps me around the house more than he used to. It was a sacrifice we both had to make. I think, as a Mother, I’m still giving up more than Ron, but I don’t mind. Draco on the other hand…He’s not a woman, Harry-“

“I think I know that very well thanks-“ he snapped and then clenched his fist in frustration. “I didn’t mean to snap. I’m sorry-“

“No need, but are you going to patiently listen to what I have to say?”

He raked his hand through his hair and nodded, steeling himself to another one of his friend’s long lectures.

Satisfied, Hermione told him about what had transpired at the Café. She knew she was breaking her word to Draco, but she also knew that this was necessary. Draco wasn’t emotional. He didn’t understand that Harry needed some kind of explanation - that he was getting impatient and frustrated.

Harry listened half-heartedly at first, but his demeanor became more restrained and alert as Hermione continued. By the time she finished without a single interruption, Harry was lost deep in thought. He frowned from time to time and shook his head, a sadness clouding his hazel eyes.

“He thought to tell you before me,” he finally whispered, “Does he trust me so little?”

“No, of course not! He wouldn’t have kept it a secret if he didn’t fear he’d lose your trust. You can’t be angry at him now, Harry-not when he needs you the most.”

“Then what do you think I should do?” he asked, but before Hermione could answer, Ron called from the living room.

“The princess is awake!” he said with a chuckle, “He’s calling you Harry.”

Hermione rolled her eyes at her husband and put one hand on Harry’s arm. “Just talk to him. Be patient and don’t lose your temper.”

Harry took a deep breath and nodded, before scooting past his puzzled mate to their room.

************

“Draco?”

He was still in bed, the curtains pulled shut, darkening their room. When Harry sat beside him, he moaned and turned on his back.

“My head’s killing me, ‘Arry. Give me another aspirin.”

“You’ve had two already. I think that’s enough,” Harry replied, removing Draco’s hands from his forehead and rubbing his cool fingers over his temple.

“Oh that feels good! Don’t stop…”

Harry fought down a smile as he massaged the blonde’s forehead, glad nevertheless to note that the fever had abated.

“Is this the last time this is going to happen Draco?” he asked, “Because I don’t fancy following you around everywhere in case you faint.”

Even with eyes closed, Draco knew he’d angered Harry again. This wasn’t the first time he’d overdosed after all.

“Mmm…Can’t promise anything,” he mumbled.

Harry frowned, but decided to let the subject drop seeing as his husband had paid in full for his stupidity. “Then…are you going to tell me the reason you’re so jittery?”

“J-jittery?” Draco opened one grey eye and cocked his head. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Only that something’s been eating you and you’re hiding it as always. You know you can tell me anything, Draco.”

“I’m not hiding anything,” Draco shrugged.

Harry stilled his fingers. “So you’re not going to tell me the real reason you don’t want to have kids?”

Draco’s eyes flew open. “She told you,” he stated and Harry nodded.

“But don’t blame her-“

“I won’t.” He straightened, pulling his knees up to his chest. “She just made things easier, didn’t she? I-well I was going to tell you, but…”

“You were scared how I would react?”

He nodded. “You’re not exactly calm Harry.”

Harry smiled thinly, knowing how true that was. “I’m not mad at you, love,” he softly spoke, “It’s not your fault.”

“Does that mean you still want kids?” and Draco couldn’t hide the quiver in his voice.

Harry brushed his bangs back and nodded. “We can try, can’t we?”

For a whole minute, Draco didn’t say anything. He didn’t know how to explain the emotions that coursed through him. He doesn’t understand! He can’t understand-

“Draco, what’s wrong?” Harry cupped his face in both his hands and forced him to meet his eyes. He saw the raw fear and apprehension treading in their depths, and it made his heart ache. In all the time he had known Draco, his husband had never so much as wavered in stating his mind. Seeing him so confused and helpless made Harry wonder if he was being unfair pressuring Draco so.

“Is there something more you want me to know?” he pressed, “I’ll listen, Draco. I won’t judge you and if you don’t want to have kids-“

“No! I-it’s not that,” Draco cut in. “I do want kids, but…I’m scared, Harry. What if-what if it dies inside me-“

“That won’t happen-“

“You don’t know that! My blood is poison, Harry! If I kill our own children I-I won’t be able to go on-you can’t expect me to!” He shuddered suddenly and pulled Harry close as though he were a blanket. Worried, Harry wrapped his arms about him and let him lean against his warmth. “My Aunt couldn’t have kids after she…miscarried, Harry. She was the same as me, you know. I’m scared that that’ll happen to me-to us. M-my own blood could kill our child-“

“Shhh…” Harry squeezed him tighter in his arms and rocked him almost like a child. Draco clung to him, unable to stop the tears that rose to his eyes. Harry kissed the top of his head, whispering soothing words.

“We’ll talk this over with a Healer, Draco,” he said after his husband calmed somewhat. “Neither of us knows what complications could arise and we won’t make a decision until we know exactly what to expect.”

He rubbed Draco’s back, knowing it soothed him. “Whatever happens, love, I’m not going to blame you. I’d rather have you by my side.” He leaned down and tipped Draco’s chin so that he could peer into the tear streaked eyes. “I love you, Draco. Even if I can’t start a family with you, I’ll be more than happy to live with you alone. This fact will never change.”

Draco simply sniffed, speechless. He knew he couldn’t promise Harry anything, but he so wanted kids! Harry cupped his cheeks, smiling warmly.

“Do you have a healer in mind?” he asked, wiping the last of the tears as they trickled down.

The blonde nodded. “The family healer. She knows about our…circumstances. I’ll contact her.”

Harry nodded and planted a kiss on his forehead. Draco sighed, tipping his head back so that his lips brushed Harry’s. Harry welcomed him, nibbling on his lower lip, his hands gliding down his back as Draco draped his arms around Harry’s neck.

Warning: Sexual Content

Draco moaned when Harry deepened the kiss. He fumbled to undo his shirt and Harry slipped it off his pale shoulders, throwing it aside as Draco climbed onto his knees, unzipping his pants. He pushed them down his thighs as Harry impatiently pulled him down, capturing his lips hungrily and kissing him as if there were no tomorrow.

“Feisty much?” Draco gasped when they stopped to catch their breath.

“Mm…See what you do to me?” and he guided Draco’s hand to his obvious erection.

“Lie back,” Draco commanded and pushed his husband onto the pillows. A bit confused, but too hot to care, Harry let Draco take his glasses off and undo his belt buckle.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked when the blonde knelt between his thighs, cheeks flushed.

“Shut up and enjoy,” Draco panted and took Harry into his mouth. He licked the swollen head like a lollipop, slurping the pre-cum noisily. Harry fisted the sheets, his nails digging into his palms and chewed his lip to keep from crying out. He had never gotten used to how good his husband was with his velvety mouth.

Draco’s tongue was like soft silk, gliding over his shaft like heavy water, and his lips felt like rose petals gripping his girth. When the blonde took him deep in his mouth again, Harry pressed his hand against Draco’s head and his hips bucked suddenly, which forced Draco to take him deeper. His eyes were closed or he would have seen the panic that made Draco shiver.

When he thrust again, the blonde suddenly moaned and Harry chanced a glance at him. His face was flushed crimson, but his eyes were wide and jaw tight. Instantly, as though scalded, Harry drew back his hand and Draco pulled away, coughing.

“I’m sorry love!” he cried, “I-I forgot-“

Draco shook his head. “N-Not-your-fault,” he gasped between coughs as Harry watched helplessly, waiting for him to calm down. When Draco finally caught his breath, he looked away, ashamed, but Harry wrapped him in his arms.

“Won’t it ever go away?” Draco whispered, his head on Harry’s shoulder. “It’s been eight years.”

Harry didn’t know what to say. He’d thought a year or two and Draco would be fine, but every time he did something unexpected in bed, the blonde flinched away. Like today…

He sighed and ran his hand through the blonde locks, twirling them about his fingers like silken threads.

“We don’t always have to go all the way, Draco. We can cuddle,” he said, burying his nose against Draco’s pale neck and breathing in his flowery scent.

“We can, if we both didn’t have raging hard-ons!” and he fisted Harry’s erection as he spoke, making his husband jump.

He suddenly wriggled away and fell onto his back, looking at Harry between bent legs. “Just do me, Harry. I-I need release as much as you do.”

Harry gave him a crooked smile, appreciating the view. “What kind of lame foreplay is this?” he joked as he crawled over the blonde till their foreheads touched.

Draco didn’t answer, choosing to press his lips against Harry’s instead. He tongued him, lapping at the roof of Harry’s mouth, tasting mango juice.

“Mm…” he smiled and bit Harry’s tongue, making him wince.

Harry let him dominate his mouth only because he was too busy running his hands over Draco’s smooth chest, circling and massaging the pink nipples. He could feel Draco’s hard erection against his thigh, wetting him steadily.

“Harry,” Draco moaned, “fuck me already!” And he made to part his legs, but Harry turned him onto his stomach, pressing kisses down his spine. Draco visibly shuddered, bucking against the mattress, craving release madly. He gasped when Harry tried to sidle a finger in and rocked forward so that the finger slipped out.

“No! I-I want you to fuck me raw,” he panted, looking at Harry over his shoulder.

“Raw? But that might hurt-“

“I don’t care! Just do it!”

And though Harry wanted to argue, his own need was driving him crazy.

“Whatever you want princess,” he muttered, holding Draco’s hips steady. Draco parted his legs wider in response and arched his back like a cat as Harry entered him with his rubber cock. Draco rocked into his thrust and his head snapped back as he gasped in pain.

Harry pulled him deeper, grinding him into the bed as he pushed himself in. Raw and hard he fucked the blonde just as he wanted until Draco cried from pleasured pain.

“Oh! F-fuck! Harry I-I’m gonna cum!”

“Not yet,” Harry panted, grabbing Draco’s erection at the base, leaning over him till his nipples ground into his back. Harry licked his neck, dewed with sweat and lightly bit his shoulder even as Draco cried loudly against the sheets, his flushed face buried in the white depths. Harry thrust harder, breaking through Draco’s tight muscles with ease, eliciting sharp cries from the blonde.

Draco was going mad, torn between pleasure and pain. His cock pulsed red, twitching in Harry’s firm grasp, begging for release.

“Oh God!” Tears flooded his eyes. “L-let me come!” he shouted, his nails digging into the bed. Harry relaxed his grip, at the same time as he burst inside Draco.

“C-come for me love,” he panted and Draco screamed Harry’s name as he came hard, staining the bed and a good part of Harry’s hand.

Choking on sobs as the last throes of ecstasy left them, Draco crumpled on the bed when Harry pulled out.

“Are you alright, love?” Harry asked, stroking Draco’s back.

“Hm…” He was flushed and dazed, his eyes still glistening. Harry made to wipe his cheek and didn’t miss it when the blonde suddenly flinched at the swift movement. They stared at each other for a moment, Harry’s hand poised in its act in midair, before Draco dropped his gaze and curled onto his side, trembling slightly.

Harry hovered above him, charming themselves clean.

“Why do you do this to yourself, Draco?” he asked as he sidled behind him, pulling him close. “You don’t have to go through it like this just to pleasure me. I understand-“

“No, you don’t!” Draco suddenly cut in, surprising Harry. He moved Harry’s arm until he turned on his other side, facing him. “I need this, Harry. I need to know that I can be like this with you. Y-you don’t know what it’s like to feel so unsure when we’re having sex. I hate this feeling and I can’t let it go unless you get rough with me! I want you to hurt me, Harry! I get scared if you’re gentle with me and I become insecure. I-I want you to-to hit me, and tie me down, and fuck me hard till I pass out, and- Mmmm…!”

The rest of his words were lost against Harry’s lips. He kissed Draco slowly and softly. He felt Draco’s tongue pushing against his, trying to speed things up, his lips crushing Harry’s, but Harry deliberately cupped his face, holding him steady. Taking control, he made gentle love to his mouth till the blonde melted in his arms with a soft sigh.

“Was that so bad?” he asked, running a hand through Draco’s sweaty locks.

He shook his head. “No…I guess, I-I just-“ he sighed and gently pushed Harry away.

“Draco, what’s wrong?” Harry asked, catching his wrist and refusing to let go. “Something’s bothering you and I want to know-I demand to know.”

Draco frowned when he felt the magic working over their bond and he gave in. “It’s just every time we have sex, I remember what happened. If you’re gentle with me Harry, I-I can’t forget it. No matter how good you are or how much I want you, those images always pop up in my mind and…But when you do me hard, I’m too engrossed to even think! I don’t care if it hurts, Harry I just want to forget!”

As fresh tears rose to Draco’s eyes, Harry opened his arms and the blonde fell into his embrace in a flash. He let Harry pull him close and reveled in his woodsy scent, burying his head in the hollow of Harry’s neck.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” Harry quietly asked, drawing light circles on Draco’s slender back.

“I thought it would go away,” came the muffled reply.

“You know it’s been years, Draco. It’s not just going to go away…You have to let me help you, like how when we got over my nightmares together.”

“Yeah, I know…” Draco closed his eyes, remembering all the nights he had cradled Harry when he woke up screaming in terror. It was a sight he never wanted to see. “But I-I can’t take it slow. I can’t ever-“

“You can, love.” Harry brushed Draco’s bangs from his eyes and stared deep into his eldritch eyes. “It’s scary, I know, but we’ll start slow, Draco. Kissing wasn’t so bad, was it? And I don’t need you to constantly please me. Trust me Draco, I love you far more than simply for sex.”

Draco gave him a lopsided smirk, hiding just how much his husband’s words touched him. “You won’t last a week, Harry,” he teased, “You’re still as horny as a teenager.”

“Only because you make me feel like one,” he smiled and planted a soft kiss on his lover’s lips. “Do you know how beautiful you are, Draco? You’re softer than a-“

“Woman, I know.” Draco rolled his eyes, having heard the line a million times and earned a playful jab in the ribs.

“Way to kill my romantic mood,” Harry pouted.

“Well you’re not exactly eloquent, o Romeo.”

Harry trailed a finger up Draco’s porcelain arms, making him shiver. “Maybe I’m not so with words…”

“Are you coming on me again you beast?” Draco whispered, trying to voice his disapproval even as his eyes glazed over under Harry’s warm touch. He found himself on his back with Harry on top of him.

“You aren’t resisting me are you, my Juliet?” he murmured, lightly biting a rosy nipple.

Draco moaned, his fingers tangling in Harry’s raven hair, holding him against his chest. Smiling, Harry twirled his tongue about the hard nub and sucked.

“Oh god…!” Draco arched off the pillow, his fingers tightening in Harry’s hair in a painful grip. Harry unclamped his lips, leaving a thin trail of saliva. Softly, he blew and watched Draco shudder.

“You’ve…proven you’re point Shakespeare,” Draco breathed, cradling Harry’s face in his slender hands. “Now if you’re done exploring your novel, would you mind closing the book? I’m tired.”

Tired was an understatement. He was exhausted, and Harry understood. Although Draco ‘s headache was gone, his body was still recovering from his haphazard caffeine overdose and Harry didn’t want to risk another fever.

He crawled next to the blonde as he pulled the covers over them before snuggling into his warm embrace.

“You know, I’m writing a veeery long novel,” he whispered in Draco’s ear as drowsiness pulled on them.

“Mmm…and I can’t wait to read it,” Draco murmured, barely responding to the kiss Harry stole just before he his mind dipped in peaceful slumber.

Dreams and Wishes

The days flew by. It seemed that in the short week they spent in the couple’s company, Hermione and Ron completely rediscovered the friend they thought they had known so well. Harry had changed. He smiled a lot more and without the burden of the long over war, Harry was free to think and feel for himself without worrying about anyone else first. Of course he cared deeply for his husband and it showed in his every action when around the blonde, but Draco never forced anything on Harry. They were like yin and yang, yes, as different as night and day and the sun and the moon, but in that way they perfectly complimented and balanced each other.

Ron wouldn’t be caught dead admitting it, but Draco Malfoy was a good match for Harry.  For her part, Hermione was quite satisfied that the argument had reached an agreement between the two and that Draco was being himself again.

“Well, mate, it’s been good seeing you,” Ron smiled as they shared a hug outside the airport terminal. “And now next time, you two are coming to our place.”

“That won’t be fun, will it? We’ve already seen England,” Draco joked, but Ron was completely serious.

“Oh you’ll be surprised how much it’s changed. War can do that you know.”

Draco was about to comment, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He bent down with a smile to hug Hermione and she warmly patted his back, whispering, “Next time we see you, you two won’t be alone.”

He tried not to blush when they parted and gave her a small nod. He had talked to her about their plan to see a Healer and she had expressed her approval. It seemed that even though Harry didn’t need Hermione to fight his battles with him, she still played a part in them.

After they waved their friends off in the terminal, Harry and Draco returned to a silent home. It felt empty and strangely lonely without the squeals and delights of a child. That night, Draco couldn’t concentrate.

He stared at the words dancing on the page he’d been trying to read for the past fifteen minutes and sighed.

“Is it that boring?” Harry asked from where he lay with his head in Draco’s lap.

Draco finally snapped the book shut and tossed it on the bed side table. “You know I love books. I just can’t concentrate,” he answered, running a hand through Harry’s dark hair and giving him a soft smile.

“Something on your mind?” Harry reached up and caressed Draco’s pale cheek, noting the faraway look in his grey eyes.

“Hmm…Just thinking-“

“About?”

“About what it would be like…to have our own child.”

Harry immediately sat up at that, wide-eyed.

“Do you mean it?” he cried, peering deep into Draco’s startled eyes. “Do you really want children, Draco-with me? Our children?”

Draco nodded, but Harry was too non-plussed. “Really? I mean, you’d do it for me?”

“Yes, Harry,” Draco finally replied, laughing. “I mean it and I’m not doing it just for you. I’ve been…feeling since Jenny’s visit that perhaps a child isn’t so bad. It’ll be ours at least and I know I can love anything that is yours Harry.”

“Oh Draco-“ and he leaned down to kiss him fully on the lips. “You don’t know how happy this makes me,” he whispered, touching his forehead to his husband’s.

“Our family healer called yesterday afternoon. She gave me the contact of the specialist and I made an appointment for tomorrow evening, if that’s ok.”

“Of course it is,” Harry smiled, brushing Draco’s soft hair from his eyes. “I’ll come home early from work and we can go together.” He cradled Draco’s face in his hands and for a long moment, the two simply stared at each, lost in a deeper connection that no words could express.

Then Draco blinked and spoke quietly as he toyed with Harry’s fingers. “I always wanted siblings you know. A brother and maybe a sister even-just someone to share things with, but Mother always said she was happy with having me alone. She didn’t want to share her love or attention she said,” and he smiled as Harry chuckled, knowing it was probably the truth in Narcissa’s case, “-but I think it’s because I proved to be such a handful that my parents didn’t want to go through that again.”

Warning: Sexual Content

“I bet you were a very naughty boy,” Harry replied, running a finger across Draco’s velvety lips and earning a seductive lick.

“Actually, I was pretty obedient, although I guess my parents indulged me from the start. They always said a piece of chocolate and a new toy did wonders for their peace of mind.”

“What did they indulge you with?” Harry asked and pushed himself on his knees so he could attack Draco’s neck easily.

Draco moaned and sank into the pillows, pulling Harry on top of him. “Just-toy wands and br-brooms and the like,” he stuttered, holding Harry to his exposed flesh even as his husband’s passionate caresses made him shudder.

Harry was enjoying watching the blonde writhe beneath him. He looked absolutely delectable as he panted through rosy lips, staring at him with half-lidded eyes.

“Harry, mmmm…” Draco opened his mouth wider to accept Harry’s kiss and suddenly found himself completely naked.

“You’re using wand less magic!” he panted.

“And can you blame me? You’re irresistible Draco.” Harry paused long enough to pull off his shirt and was undoing his jeans when Draco pulled him down, capturing his lips. Harry’s hands moved from his half undone belt to the back of Draco’s neck, running through a handful of silky blonde strands.

“Then fuck me,” Draco breathed, smiling coyly at his husband.

Harry wanted nothing more than to do just that, but tonight, he had different plans. “Alright, but I want you to turn around first.”

“Turn around? How?”

“On your knees, facing the wall-yeah, like that-“ and Harry threw his belt on the floor as Draco watched him over his shoulder.

“Are you sticking something in me?” he asked, a little scared because they had never played with toys before.

“Yeah, I’m sticking something in you alright,” Harry smirked, to which Draco rolled his eyes. “Keep your eyes on the wall and don’t look back.”

Draco obeyed, closing his eyes with a sigh when Harry parted his cheeks. He gasped when something soft and moist nudged his entrance.

“H-Harry!”

“Shhh…Enjoy it, love. It feels good, doesn’t it?” Harry’s warm breath ghosted over Draco’s pale skin as he spoke.

“I-It’s dirty!” Draco cried when he felt Harry’s tongue thrusting again. “St-top-“ he breathed, struggling to keep his composure as waves of pleasure wafted over him. Harry was being so gentle and at the same time the new sensation was turning Draco on to the point where he wanted to grab the bedpost with both hands and thrust hard into his husband’s face.

“Stop,” he moaned again, but Harry didn’t stop.

He couldn’t. He had wanted to do this to the blonde for a long time. Their sex life wasn’t in the least bit boring and both were satisfied, but Harry never seemed to get enough of his husband. There were nights when he wanted to fuck Draco over and over and over again to the point of mind-numbing exhaustion, but he knew his husband was far too sensitive and delicate to endure.

Draco would kill him if ever he learned, but Harry sometimes wondered why Draco had not been born a woman. He seemed to know more about clothing than the average man and, although his cooking skills were anything but skills, he seemed to always know what was on Harry’s mind without ever asking. Perhaps Draco’s upbringing in the pureblood high society where cleverly concealed intentions were hard to read had taught him to become more attuned to others’ feelings and thoughts, giving him a sort of woman’s intuition. Harry would never know. He didn’t want Draco to change, but he did wish he could read the blonde’s mind as easily as he read his.

“Harry!” Draco’s strained moan shook Harry from his thoughts and he momentarily withdrew his tongue. Draco immediately turned around and scrambled away, pressing his back against the bedpost.

“What’s the matter, Draco?” Harry asked, licking his lips, a bit startled. “Aren’t you enjoy-“

“No! I told you to stop and you kept going!” came the vehement answer.

“But I thought you were-“

“That’s not the point Harry! I don’t-I didn’t like it, ok?”

Harry gave him a puzzled look which Draco met with a pointed glare, raising his chin defiantly and looking the very picture of the spoiled brat of the past.

“So were those moans just there to please me?” Harry asked, crawling over his legs and bringing his face close enough that their noses touched.

“I don’t like you touching me that way,” Draco firmly replied, hoping Harry would drop the matter, but, as expected, his curious husband never got the clue.

“What do you mean?” he asked, suddenly looking very worried and wondering if he had done something to severely upset Draco.

Draco gently pushed Harry away and straightened as he spoke, “It makes me feel like a bloody woman, that’s what. You don’t do that to guys Harry-“

“Do too! I read it in a certified sex manual-“ Draco gave him a mortified look “-I can show it to you if you don’t believe-“

“I don’t want to see it!” Draco cut in, his cheeks burning furiously at the thought of his husband pouring over pictures of lewd men doing unimaginable things. “And why are you researching sex manuals? I’m boring is that it? Have you grown tired of-“ But the hurt look on Harry’s face made him swallow his next words and he abruptly looked away, mumbling curses under his breath.

Harry leaned forward and nuzzled his neck. “I love you Draco,” he whispered.

“I know,” came the equally soft reply. Then after a pause- “You want to try new things?”

“With you, yes.”

Draco searched Harry’s emerald eyes, noting the sincerity and gave a small sigh. “But why now all of a sudden?”

“It’s not all of a sudden. I’ve wanted to do these things for a long time, but I could never push them on you. You know I would never force you to do anything you don’t want to, Draco.”

Draco nodded and moved his hands as Harry sidled down so that his head rested in Draco’s lap. He looked down at his husband who gave him a twinkling smile, his eyes gleaming mischievously.

Draco frowned. “I hope you’re not picturing me in a skirt or something,” he growled. “As much as I love you, Harry, I’m not going to indulge all your kinky fantasies.”

“But you will indulge some then?” he asked, dreamily conjuring a sexy image of his husband in a mini skirt, showing off his long, slender legs. A playful punch to the shoulder brought Harry from his daydream.

“You’re insatiable, Harry,” Draco said, a thin smile tugging at his lips. “Now get off me.”

“Why? I’m comfortable.” And Harry wriggled around, further crawling up his husbands legs as though to prove the point.

“I don’t know why you find my bony legs comfortable, but I need to use the loo, and then you and I need to sleep.”

“Mmmm, do we have to sleep now?” Harry whined, imitating a child, “it’s only-“ he glanced at the clock, “-well it’s almost midnight, but we’ve gone longer before.”

“Harry, I’ve got the appointment tomorrow. You can sleep in if you want-“

“No! I’m coming.” And Harry scrambled off Draco’s legs. “We’re going together.”

Draco gave him an amused look and then a tired grin. He swung his long legs over the edge and, wrapping a thin comforter about himself, made his way to the bathroom.

Harry watched him go with a wistful sigh. Even now he longed to lock Draco in his embrace and do all those he had denied himself for the past eight years.

Why he wondered am I acting like an hormonal teenager? He flopped onto his back and stared at the dimly lit ceiling. Is it because I’ll be a father soon?

He heard a flush and the click of the door as Draco thumped out, yawning silently. With a smile, Harry parted the covers and watched Draco sidle under them, snuggling deeper into the warm depths.

“’Night,” he mumbled, eyes already falling shut.

“Good night,” Harry smiled, pecking him on the lips and turning off the lights with a flick of his wrist.

For a time, he simply watched his husband sleep, admiring the soft glow that illuminated his features from the digital clock on the bedside, before dropping back on his pillow with a muffled yawn.

“No, I don’t love you more just because you’re going to give me the most incredible gift,” he whispered, draping an arm around his oblivious husband and pulling him close. “I don’t think I can love you as much you deserve.”

And Draco, deep in sleep, felt a warmth cradle him that touched his lips in a childlike smile.

Giving In

 Draco clutched Harry’s hand tightly as he nervously stared around the hospital lobby. They had come straight to the hospital after Harry took off from work as per the appointment. They had signed in a half-hour ago, but with the Healers busy as ever, their appointment time was at best an estimate. It did nothing to help the blonde’s poor nerves.

“Relax, baby,” Harry whispered, squeezing his moist hand and laying his other hand on Draco’s twitching leg. He murmured soothing words to him till their name was finally called.

“Mr. Malfoy-Potter?”

They followed the nurse inside a room with a cushioned bed, an armchair, and strange instruments.

“Please wait here. The Healer will be with you momentarily.”

Draco sidled onto the bed while Harry pulled a chair and they waited in silence till the door opened. A tall, trim woman gave them a bright smile.

“Hello, gentlemen. I’m Healer Cherri-“ and she thrust hand to first Harry than Draco.

“I’m Harry and this is my husband Draco,” Harry introduced, since all the blonde managed was a weak smile and a handshake. Pulling a stool, she sat facing them and got right down to business.

“I discussed the family disease with your primary Healer, Draco, and she noted some of the concerns you have. I must admit, since this is a very uncommon disease that only seems to affect a rare number of purebloods, it’s under researched, but I think we can get by with what we have so far. I take you are a full veela?”

Draco nodded.

“And will this be your first time concieving?”

Draco blushed and nodded again. Cherri, noting his nervousness, smiled.

“Then I understand the tension, but relax you two. I think if you take the right precautions and care, you’ll deliver a healthy baby.”

Harry smiled at that, but Draco’s composure didn’t loosen.

“That’s what I really wanted to talk to you about,” he said, licking his lips. “Given the risks, we-well I-I’m scared to try. I don’t want to lose the baby.”

“I understand, Draco and it’s perfectly normal to be afraid. I’ll run some tests to assess the degree of the risk, but along with the usual, I’ll have to perform a rectoscopy-“

“A-a what?” Draco squeaked, eyes wide.

“A rectoscopy,” she gently replied. “You can have Harry by you if it makes you feel better.”

Draco glanced at his husband who was watching him tentatively. “No, you wait outside,” he said. Though a little hurt, Harry consented and left the room after helping Draco change into the flimsy gown.

He sank into the cushions in the hallway and glanced about him. Couples like them were waiting hand in hand in the lobby. There was a pregnant woman, her belly the size of a Quaffle, dozing in her husband’s embrace. Will Draco look like that? Harry wondered, smiling at the image.

Another woman cradled a month old infant while her husband cooed to it. Both were laughing and speaking softly, making baby noises. The perfect family, Harry thought, his heart suddenly full. Goodness he wanted kids! For the next forty-five minutes, he studied families as they came in and out the maternity ward, picturing himself and Draco in their shoes.

He was smiling dreamily when the door opened and Cherri called him back in. Draco gave him a thin smile and Harry thought he looked amazingly sexy in that breezy gown. After he’d changed, Draco and Harry entered the Healer’s office and sank into the seats, eager to hear the results.

“Well gentleman, we ran the tests and most of the results have green flags.” Harry perked at that. “You’re family disease, Draco, thankfully is not a big threat, however I want you to take extra care once you advance in your pregnancy as you have a higher risk of miscarriage. Eating and sleeping on time is a must and, although light exercise is preferable, you musn’t do anything strenuous and absolutely no stress-“ She looked at Harry as she gave the instructions and Harry nodded understandingly. “Also, I believe you’re a little underweight. I think a diet of high proteins and carbohydrates will be helpful in the beginning, and you should gain weight steadily once the first trimesters over. Any questions?”

Draco only blinked, too overwhelmed to think straight, but Harry eagerly asked,

“So it’s safe to try?”

“Oh, absolutely. Draco is a strong, young man and I think both of you will make fine parents.”

They both thanked her then as they took their leave.

“You remember Draco what we discussed don’t you?” Cherri asked with a smile.

Draco blushed and nodded. “Blue to red.”

“That’s right,” she winked. “Good luck, love.”

*****

“Why did she wink at you?” Harry asked as he followed Draco to the kitchen. “You’re not having second thoughts are you?” His husband was too charming for his own good sometimes.

Draco rolled his eyes as he uncorked a bottle of orange juice and chugged half of it down thirstily. “Oh please, love, she’s going to help me deliver our baby! Put a plug in it won’t-“ but he stopped short at the frozen look on Harry’s face.

“What?” he innocently asked, tightening the lid back on the bottle and settling it back in the fridge.

“Did you-did you just say our baby?” Harry breathed, taking a couple steps forward so that he could stare freely into his husband’s amused eyes.

“Mmm,” Draco hummed, wrapping his slender arms about Harry’s neck. “You’re going to knock me up, remember?”

Harry’s lips widened in an adorable smile. “You’re ready then?” he breathlessly asked, still not sure what to make of this incredible news.

“Yes, baby, you know I’ve always wanted a kid. I just wasn’t sure if I’d be able to.”

“Oh god, Draco-“ Harry cupped Draco’s face and kissed his juice covered lips hard.

“This really makes you happy, doesn’t it?” Draco asked, as Harry licked his lips and then bent down to brush Draco’s.

“More than you know,” he answered, caressing Draco’s neck with his thumbs. “We lead such a good life, Draco. I’ve always thought how wonderful it’ll be to share it with our own child. We could give him everything he wants-“

“Her,” Draco cut in. “I want a girl.”

Harry laughed and kissed Draco’s forehead. “Alright, love, we’ll have a baby doll! Do you feel up to it?”

Draco gave him his trade-mark smirk as he slyly replied, “I don’t know about that, but you know I’m always up for it-“

Warning: Sexual Content

And Harry needed no more prodding. Before the blonde could utter another word, he enveloped him in a slow, passionate kiss that made the blonde melt in his arms with tortured moans.  He didn’t even realize when Harry apparated them to their bedroom. Wordlessly, they crawled into bed and then over each other.

Draco pushed Harry onto his back as he kissed him passionately.

“Just lie back and relax, love,” he murmured and Harry’s eyebrows shot up.

He hadn’t seen his husband in this mood since their first anniversary when Draco had totally smashed himself on five cocktails, two vodkas, and three bottles of beer. He hadn’t let Harry sleep a wink that night and had raised Cain in bed. Not that Harry didn’t enjoy it, but he had never been more sore from having sex before or more sympathetic towards his husband who had been confined to bed for two whole days after with a massive hangover.

Now Harry simply lay back, pulling Draco on top of him. Their lips met and they kissed passionately, their hands flying wildly to undo each other’s clothes. Harry watched amused as Draco placed kiss after kiss on his neck, his fingers exploring Harry’s chest with a delicate touch. Harry stopped him but a moment so he could shed his shirt altogether and then pull the thin material off Draco as well. They scrambled out of their pants and then stared at each other, naked and panting.

Draco drowned in Harry’s emerald gaze as they drank him in. No matter how many times he saw him naked, Harry still couldn’t get used to Draco’s beautiful figure.  His pale, flawless skin was creamier than any woman’s and there was a certain grace-a modesty-to his very being that automatically placed him on a lordly pedestal.

He watched dreamily as Draco swooped upon him like an angel and captured his lips. Silky, golden locks tangled with wild, dark hair as their tongues twirled and danced sensually. Draco tasted like coffee and cinnamon, and Harry eagerly parted his lips wider to engulf him wholly. Draco’s moist tongue darted playfully over his teeth, tasting maple syrup with a small smile.

Harry moaned when Draco bit his lower lip and took him deeper at the same time.

“God, Draco…” he panted when they parted to catch their breath. No one kissed like Draco Malfoy-(Potter).

“Still not used to it?” Draco smirked. Fuck.

“Not when you’re looking so fuckin’ sexy,” Harry whispered in a husky voice. He knew Draco loved his throaty, base tone. It never failed to turn him on.

Draco chuckled and leaned forward to breathe seductively in Harry’s ear, “I’ll show you SEXy love-“ and he wrapped his fingers around Harry’s hard membrane as he spoke, making his husband gasp and arch off the bed.

“Draco!”

“Shhh...You’ve always taken charge in bed, Harry,” he purred, slowly pumping Harry’s length, “Now let me do the work.”

Harry wanted to scream at Draco to stop. If he kept up with the surprises, he didn’t know how long he’d be able to last, but Draco didn’t seem to care that his very words were setting his husband on edge.

He kept caressing Harry’s erection and then bent down to close his velvet lips over a dark nipple. Harry moaned, and fisted the sheets, trying hard not to buck into Draco’s hand. He closed his eyes tight, but immediately regretted it as the sensations coursed through him tenfold.

With a huff he snapped open his eyes, and took in the admirable sight. Like a panther Draco crouched over him, his arched back following a lustful curve towards his smooth buttocks.

Harry couldn’t help reaching up and kneading them. Draco jumped with a surprised yelp.

“Can’t have you having all the fun,” Harry remarked as he slipped in a long finger.

Now it was Draco’s turn to moan as Harry teased him, adding two more fingers and scissoring them slowly. Draco pressed his palms against Harry’s chest and rocked back on his husband’s fingers, eyes closed and lips parted in a pleasured moan. His cheeks and neck were a light pink and his grey-blue eyes, when he opened them wore a hazy blanket as though in a wonderful dream.

Harry smiled softly and withdrew his fingers. He cradled Draco to him and then flipped him onto his back. Grabbing nearby pillows, he lifted Draco’s hips and cushioned them under him. Draco watched him, licking his lips from time to time in breathless anticipation. He knew what was coming and he couldn’t contain himself. It had been so long since he’d felt Harry without some stupid protection that he wanted to impale himself on Harry’s hard length right then, but he knew Harry wouldn’t allow it.

His husband was as careful as ever, mindful of Draco’s needs even when his own were so pressing. Harry wanted nothing more than to shag his husband senseless, but he wanted Draco to enjoy it, and he wanted Draco to think of him-nothing else. Certainly not the past.

He parted Draco’s pale legs and, positioning himself, slowly entered him.

“Unh…” Draco’s eyes fell shut and he arched off the pillow as Harry made his way in deep. He felt him retreat a bit and then ease himself back in. Draco sighed as he took in the hot membrane. It felt so good to feel that hard, moist flesh rubbing inside him, brushing against his sweet spot and making him moan.

Eyes still closed, Draco reached up and blindly clutched the bedposts. Using it as leverage, he thrust back hard as Harry pushed forward and gasped when his length inched deeper into him.

Harry stilled at once. “Don’t-“ he whispered, clasping Draco’s wrists and removing his hold on the bedposts.

“Wha-why?” the blonde panted, looking at him half-confused and wriggling his hips to get Harry to move.

Harry brought his hands down on Draco’s slender hips to still him. “Because we’re going to take this slow, Draco. I want you to enjoy it-“

“I will if you move!” And Draco gave a frustrated sigh when his husband fixed him with a pointy stare and remained limp within him. Potter and his ever stubborn head! “Fine! Drill me as slow as you want, but just move! Don’t stay still like that! It’s so uncomf-“

But Harry silenced him with his lips, slipping his tongue down Draco’s throat, tonguing him deep. Draco almost whimpered when he felt Harry nudged his tongue at the same time that he began to thrust into him slowly.

He closed his eyes, his breath ragged, and tried to pause the images that flitted in his mind as the powerful sensations swept over him. He could feel the raw power with which those boys had taken him. He felt coarse hands pinning his limbs, bruising him even as he bucked wildly in the restraints.

“Draco-“ Harry’s gentle voice brought him back and he looked at his husband hovering over him, hazel eyes marred with worry. “Is it hurting?”

Draco looked politely puzzled until Harry brushed his wet cheek with a long finger. He hadn’t even known he’d been crying. “Oh, it’s-it’s not you, Harry,” he whispered, aware that his husband was still inside him. “I…remember when you go too slow-“

“Look at me-“ and Harry lifted Draco’s chin so he could peer deep into those unusual eyes. “Do you love me, Draco?”

“Do you have to ask? You know I do.” Draco wrapped his arms around Harry’s strong shoulders and kissed him on the lips. “I love you, Harry.”

“And do you trust me?”

The blonde gave him a puzzled look, but nodded. “Of course I do, with my life.”

“Then look me in the eyes and don’t close them.”

Draco stared at the emerald pools as they drank him in. He read the love and longing that seemed to overflow in boundless abandon.

“Keep looking at me,” Harry whispered as he held Draco by the hips and slowly thrust in again. His eyes half closed and a throaty murmur left his lips, but he still gazed at Harry as asked.

Slowly, sensually, Harry rocked them, brushing Draco’s sweet spot at tortured pace that made the blonde bite his lips in anticipation. His lips quivered when Harry bent down to lick the nape of his neck. The sensitive skin already flushed turned red as a rose when Harry left his mark in a gentle trail of love bites.

“Harry…” Draco’s fingers dug into his husband’s back as he took him in deeper, his hips slightly raising off the pillows.

“Do you feel me?” Harry breathed, panting a little as he tried to thrust deeper into Draco’s hot tightness.

“Yesss…” came the hiss of a reply. His head fell back, blonde hair spilling like golden thread on the white covers. “You feel so good…nn” he moaned.

Harry lifted Draco’s right leg higher by the thigh so that he could slide in at an angle and continued to move at the turtle pace. Even at this momentum, he didn’t know how long more he could last. Draco was so warm and tight that the friction was enough to send him over the edge any second.

He could see Draco’s own erection leaking steadily on his flat stomach, but his husband was too lost in the sensations within him to give his aching member much thought. Harry removed the hand around Draco’s slender hip and gripped the neglected member, pumping at first slow, than faster.

The blonde moaned loudly and arched off the bed, his fingers tangling in the sheets as he writhed in pleasure.

“So good…oh, Harry!” he cried as his erection throbbed, near bursting. Harry leaned over and planted his hands on either side of Draco’s head on the mattress. He knew they both were close and he couldn’t contain himself anymore.

“I-I’m going to move,” he warned, before jutting his hips forward and thrusting the blonde deep.

Draco murmured something unintelligible and his arms dropped by his side, gripping the pillow beneath his head to keep from sliding off as the bed rocked beneath them.

“H-Harry!” he cried as he came.

Not a moment later, Harry too came with a grunt and Draco felt the milky seed enter him. He gasped, growing still as the white liquid flowed within him.

“I-I feel you,” he told Harry, who was watching him through a dreamy daze, still panting from the exertion.

Harry pulled out in response and slumped next to Draco, utterly spent. Draco raised the covers over them and snuggled closer, throwing one smooth leg over his husband’s and dropping his head on Harry’s shoulder.

He felt sticky because of the sweat and the cum, but they were both too tired to care much. Whispering a soft good-night, he kissed Harry on the cheek before snuffing out the lights, enveloping them in peaceful darkness.

Sweet Surprises

A Week Later…

Harry was busy getting ready for work, late as usual. He was looping his tie, having managed to somewhat pacify his unruly hair, when a sudden gasp startled him. He rushed over to the bathroom.

“Draco? Are you alright?” he called, pressing his ear to the door.

He heard a flush and for a few moments, nothing happened. Then the door creaked open and his husband stood with his hand on the knob, wide-eyed and dazed.

“What’s the matter?” Harry asked, feeling his forehead, thinking how cute the blonde looked with bed hair.

Draco held up a thin, stick like device, which glowed bright red.

“I-it’s red, Harry,” he whispered, his hand shaking just a bit, “It’s done.”

For a whole minute and a half, Harry Potter simply blinked, too stunned to speak. Then with a wide smile, he pulled the blonde into his arms, unable to keep the joyous laughter at bay. Draco clung to him, feeling a little scared and relieved at the same time.

“You’re going to make me the happiest man in the world, Draco!” Harry cried, pressing kisses to the side of Draco’s neck. “I can’t thank you enough.”

And when Draco had enough courage to peek shyly at his husband, he was surprised to see tears shinning in those beautiful eyes.

“You don’t have to love,” he whispered, giving him a soft kiss.  “You don’t have to.”

Four Months Later…

“Severus, I know you’re in there! Now open up you bat!” Remus Lupin cried as he banged the door for the fifteenth time.

Like the menacing welcome of a haunted house, the wooden door creaked open to reveal a man much unchanged. The years had treated Severus Snape well after the war. His greasy hair was a tad longer and the black robes looked newly washed, but the classic sour lemon expression was still the same as ever.

“There better be a good explanation for this unwanted intrusion, Lupin,” he spat, his voice as cold as ever.

“Oh come now, is every visit an unwanted intrusion to you? And before you answer, let me assure you that I do have a liable reason for this “intrusion.””

Snape’s scowl deepened, but he stepped aside to let the werewolf pass.

“I always thought caves and dungeons suited you well,” Lupin lightly remarked as he moved around a bubbling cauldron and dropped into a lonely cushion.

“If you’re here to make snide comments, you best leave,” Snape sneered, crushing a handful of dried figs and wishing they were his guest’s head.

“I’d have thought you’d be relieved to have someone drop by. You know what the village children call this place? The Witch’s Hollow. A fitting name don’t you think?”

Snape scowled. “What do those half-wit muggles know about the delicacies of potion brewing? If Dumbledore hadn’t insisted in me taking a vacation, I would never have come back to this godforsaken place to begin with.”

Lupin’s eyes softened just a bit, knowing the man’s predicament. “Dumbledore means kindly, Severus. He only wants to keep you from overworking yourself. You know you have a nasty habit.”

“If hard work is akin to overexertion, then I see nothing wrong with it.” He sprinkled the crushed figs in the cauldron as he spoke, making the potion cackle and fizz and turn a brilliant shade of purple. “Now, did you actually have something worthwhile to say? You might as well spill it.”

“I came to invite you-“

“Invitation not accepted.”

“At least listen to what I have to say,” came the amused reply. Remus wasn’t at all put out by the abrupt rejection. He had come to expect certain things whenever Severus Snape was concerned.

“Well?” Severus folded his arms across his chest and waited calmly for Lupin to go on.

“As I was saying, I’ve come to invite you to a trip to the Americas with us.”

Severus raised a black eyebrow, trying to conceal his apparent disgust at the mere thought of accompanying the werewolf anywhere.

“And why ever would I want to make this trip? I’m perfectly happy where I am, thanks.”

“Yes, I can see how happy that is,” and Lupin waved his arm around the dark room, bare save for a collection of worn books and potion fumes. “You’re on vacation, Severus. You might as well make the time worthwhile-“

“I am. I can think of no better use of a Potion Master’s time than by his cauldron.”

Lupin sighed wearily and rubbed his tired eyes. “So you won’t even consider my proposal?”

“You should have known what my answer would be the moment such a proposal dared cross your mind.” And he waited for him to leave, but Remus made no moves toward the door.

He leaned back in the chair, saying, “Well, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy convincing you, but since I was charged with the task…Tell me Severus, how long has it been since you saw your godson?”

Snape blinked at the abrupt change in subject, but replied smoothly, “I should think five, six years-“

“And don’t you think it’s time you met him again? You’ve stayed away from him long enough.”

“My godson doesn’t need to be pampered to realize that I care. He doesn’t miss me. I’m sure he has other things on his mind.”

Lupin chuckled. “My, my Severus how confident you sound! One would think you almost wished Draco would forget you!”

Snape’s eyes darkened and he pointed a bony finger to the door. “Kindly show yourself out, Remus. I’ve had enough of your languid jokes for now.”

“Must you always kick me out? But never mind that, I know why you’ve been avoiding seeing him. Don’t you think it’s time you got over it? I understand you find it strange that a Malfoy and Potter have ended up together, but they make a good pair, Severus. Anyone can see that.”

“Then I wish I didn’t have eyes,” Snape darkly muttered. “Potter’s always been nothing but trouble...” He sighed and sank into a chair opposite the werewolf. “Did Draco propose this?”

Lupin nodded. “He wants to surprise Harry. His birthday is in less than a week, you know.”

“Ever the perfect husband,” Snape muttered and rolled his eyes. “I suppose the whole Gryffindor entourage is going?”

“If you consider Sirius, my wife, and I part of it, then yes. Oh, and Narcissa Malfoy is coming as well.”

Now Snape was surprised. “Narcissa? On Draco’s invitation?”

“Well you may be able to endure without love, Severus, but some of us do like to meet those we love once in a while.”

Snape snorted, “You know that’s not what I meant. Why is Narcissa going to Potter’s birthday? And the last she saw Draco was but two years ago. He isn’t a boy who clings to her apron strings anymore.”

“I can’t answer that,” Lupin replied, trying to picture Mrs. Malfoy in an apron. He failed miserably. “I suppose Draco wants a reunion and what’s wrong with Narcissa attending her son-in-law’s -“ Severus winced at the title -“birthday? Narcissa accepts Harry wholly. She’s become a sort of motherly figure to him as well, might I add. I find it quiet pleasing actually-“

“I didn’t ask for your commentary on Potter’s miserable life. Are the Weasleys not tagging along?”

“They saw Harry but a few months back and it seems Hermione is busy after her promotion.”

“Yes, ever the busy bee…” Severus mumbled, staring out the window and hardly conscious of what words escaped him. In truth, he really did long to see his godson. He missed him, although he would never dare admit it. Severus Snape was not prone to such vulnerable, womanly emotions.

But his heart ached for Draco all the same. He knew what progress Draco had made in the ever intricate and severely misunderstood field of Potions, and he was if nothing else, proud. He had always known that the boy was bright. Spoiled and increasingly arrogant, yes, but with an intelligent, ambitious head on his shoulders. All it had taken was someone with Potter’s saintliness and little patience to tame the boy into the perfect man.

For that, he supposed, he owed Potter. Harry Potter may not be the most likable of men, impulsive and nosy as he was, but he had a good heart and he did not mind wearing it on his sleeve. His acceptance had changed Draco completely for the better and Severus could live with that as long as his godson was happy.

He sighed and turned to meet the werewolf’s patient eyes. “You won’t leave till you hear my answer and then you won’t stop pestering me till it becomes a yes, yes?”

Lupin smiled, but nodded.

Severus frowned. “Very well, when do we leave?”

It was due time he met his godson and tolerated his husband after all.

**

Five Days Later…

“Harry! Harry where the hell are you?!”

Draco’s frantic cries brought Harry running from the bathroom half naked with a towel feebly held around his dripping waist. He expected the house on fire with the way the blonde had been yelling, but he found his husband calmly snuggled on the sofa with a tub of chocolate and pistachio ice-cream.

“What’s the matter?” Harry asked, trying to erase all traces of annoyance from his voice. This was the third time in less than a week that Harry assumed he’d escaped a close heart attack.

Draco looked up briefly to admire his husband’s sleek, tan body creating puddles on the hardwood floor before he returned to busily lick the large spoon. “Harry, you promised me something. Have you forgotten?”

“No…” Harry cautiously replied, wracking his brain to remember the one promise out of the three dozen he had made to Draco that day. “I’m taking a shower, you know-“

“Can see that, yes, but what happened to making reservations at the Blue Gem? I thought we were dining out.”

Harry scratched his head sheepishly. “We were supposed to, weren’t we? I sort of forgot-“

“There’s no such thing as “sort of”, Harry. Either you remembered or you didn’t, and in this case you didn’t. Just like last week when I asked you to kindly bring me a bottle of hot sauce-“

“I was tired and it was one in the morning, Draco! You honestly didn’t think the store would’ve  been open, did you?”

Draco didn’t miss a beat. “That’s not my problem. You could’ve apparated to China for all I cared. Or you could’ve allowed me to go to the grocery store in the day like a normal citizen with rights!”

“Draco,” Harry sighed and wiped the water that was dripping into his eyes. “You’re not normal-you’re pregnant for Merlin’s sake!-and Cherri said to avoid strenuous activities-“

“Buying a bottle of harmless hot sauce is hardly strenuous, Harry.”

“Is this why you called me out of the shower-to argue about my unfairness?”

Draco only snorted and deposited the tub on the floor. “I’m not that childish. I don’t want to fight with you on your birthday. I just had to know what our dinner plans were because frankly, I’m starved.”

Harry eyed the half-eaten tub of ice-cream incredulously, wondering just how starved the blonde could really be, but wisely chose not to argue. These days, Draco’s moods were far from pleasant and Harry didn’t want to give him another reason to get riled up.

“Well, what do you feel like eating?” he asked.

“Fish,” came the immediate reply. “I’m craving salmon and pilaf…And maybe clam chowder.”

Harry would have smiled at the utter seriousness with which the blonde was sorting his appetite, but he was too busy narrowing down the list of restaurants that offered the preferred menu.

“How about we go down to Cannary? They don’t need a reservation and the last we went, you seemed to like their pilaf,” Harry suggested.

The blonde looked thoughtful than gave a small nod which was met with relief before he said, “If that’s the best you can do, I suppose I’ll manage.”

Harry wanted to throw the wet towel at Draco’s head and storm out the door shouting, but he bit his tongue, swallowed his bitter mood, and tramped inside to complete his shower instead…hopefully without further interruptions.

**

When Harry emerged out of the shower a good half hour later, he changed quickly into a simple tee and jeans, knowing Draco never liked to linger when they had plans.

“Draco, are you ready?” he called as he slipped on his wrist watch. He still wore the gold watch Hermione had gifted him, although Draco merely considered it a muggle trinket.

When he received no reply, he walked into the living room to find his husband fast asleep cuddling a cushion. He was dressed in a snug sweater and warm jeans, a jacket still folded on the armrest. Harry reasoned all the waiting and ranting must have worn him out.

He checked the time and his stomach growled. He could only imagine how hungry the blonde must be. Nowadays, Draco ate twice as much, and more on good days.

Leaning over, he gently shook his shoulder, whispering his name. It took a while, but at last Draco pulled out of his slumber and eyed him sleepily.

“Took so long,” he yawned, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Sorry, love, I needed to cool down. Ready to go?”

“Hn…” Draco pushed himself off the cushions and stretched languidly, trying to blink the drowsiness away.

Harry watched him fight Morpheus for a minute, smiling at the utter childishness, before saying, “Are you sure you want to go? I can always pick up-“

“No. It’s your birthday, Harry, and I don’t want you to do errands today. I can-“ he yawned, and finished lamely, -“I can manage.”

Harry stared thoughtfully at him for a time as Draco reached for his jacket and pulled it on, fumbling with the buttons.

“We’ll have to drive, you know,” he said. “I can’t apparate with you and the Floo is also out of the question. The Cannary’s at least twenty minutes away.”

“Are you trying to dissuade me from coming?” Draco asked, abandoning the last button with a frustrated sigh. “We always eat out on your birthday, Harry. It’s tradition-“

“And I know how much you revere it.” Harry dropped on the couch beside the blonde and pushed in the last of the stubborn buttons on his jacket. “But this year’s different, Draco. We’re not alone this year-“ and he touched Draco’s still flat stomach as he spoke. “I think we can make an exception for him, don’t you?”

“Her,” Draco automatically corrected, “And I suppose if you have to...” He abruptly shut up as Harry leaned forward for a kiss and allowed his husband to ravish him.

“I won’t be long,” Harry smiled as he headed for the door.

And Draco watched him go sympathetically. It was almost too easy to fool Harry Potter.

**

It took all but five seconds to apparate to the named restaurant, but once in, it was fifteen minutes before Harry placed his order and then another fifteen before his number was called. Thirty minutes for a box of food! It would have been easier to cook it himself.

He tucked the plastic bag in his long coat and apparated back to their front step. The house was deathly quiet. He wondered if Draco had gone back to sleep. He seemed so tired all the time, what with the coming baby draining him of magic.

“Draco?” he called as he unlocked the door and hung the keys. “I’ve got the food. Where are you?”

He removed his coat, dropping it on the couch as he made his way to the kitchen. He flicked on the light and was about to open the refrigerator when a loud chorus of “Happy Birthday, Harry!” startled him from his skin!

He literally jumped and whipped around, face a mask of shock and astonishment. There, behind the dining table, stood Sirius, Remus, Tonks, Severus, and Narcissa-the former two whom Harry would have given half his heart to see.

His wide emerald eyes took in the large chocolate cake on the table and settled on his husband, who was smiling at him in the most adorable way.

“Happy birthday, love,” he said, taking his hand and leading him to the table. “Like your presents?”

“Harry!” Sirius pulled him into a manly hug while Remus patted his back.

“Harry, my boy!” he cried and held him at arms length, surveying him up and down to his satisfaction.

“Remus…Sirius!” For his part, Harry could only stutter. “Wha-? How are you here?”

“Draco contacted us a week before your birthday,” Tonks explained. “He thought it was due time for a reunion.”

Snape snorted at that, but held back any bitter comments lingering on the tip of his tongue. It didn’t take a genius to realize just how touched Harry was.

“Cut the cake, Harry,” Narcissa smiled, handing him the knife and squeezing his hand.

Feeling like a little kid, but a grateful one, Harry cut the chocolate cake to the birthday song and accepted a large bite of the slice Draco fed him.

Greetings, congratulations, and a mouth full of sweet cake later, the party moved to the living room.

“I still can’t believe how you convinced Sev to come,” Draco said as he passed a cup of coffee to his godfather.

“Wouldn’t you like to hear it?” Snape sneered.

“He wouldn’t have come if I hadn’t forced my way in and made him listen,” Remus answered. “I wonder if he even left that hollow for the whole of his vacation.”

Snape frowned, but drank his tea instead of instigating an argument, although Lupin seemed intent on starting one. When one put the werewolf in Black’s company, things always reverted to the old ways. All they’re missing is that prat James, he thought, eyes instinctively landing on Harry who sat with an arm thrown behind Draco’s chair.

“Well, I think a round of presents is in order,” Sirius replied, pulling out a hand-wrapped red and gold package and tossing it to his godson.

“You shouldn’t have!” Harry remarked, feeling more childish than ever.

“It’s not every day a young man turns twenty-four, now is it?”

“Open up and don’t be modest,” Tonks chided.

Still feeling abashed, Harry peeled off the wrapping to reveal a leather bound photo album. “Wow Sirius…” he breathed, running a finger down the soft spine and opening the cover.

To my godson Harry,

So that he may remember the happier memories to come.

Sirius

“It’s beautiful!” Harry said, batting tears from his lashes which gave him away anyways. “I don’t think you could’ve gifted me this at a better time.”

Draco froze when questioning eyes turned on them.  Here it comes, he thought as Harry squeezed his hand.

“Every one, Draco and I have an announcement to make.” Harry took a deep breath, casting  a side-ways glance at his petrified husband. He looked around the room once, taking in all of their patient faces and Snape’s narrowed eyes before breaking the news, “We’re having a baby!”

The silence in the room was deafening.

Chapter 25: A Little Steam

For a whole two minutes, no one spoke. Harry looked around the room, prodding for some kind of response as he stared at the blank faces. Draco closed his eyes, unable to stand the suspense and dreading their reaction.

The news sank in all at once and Sirius burst out laughing, pointing at Severus who looked as though he’d swallowed sour lemons while Tonks was as giddy as if her birthday had come early. Remus and Narcissa were by far the most normal, although Harry wondered if he should be worried when Narcissa burst into tears, pulling Draco in a surprisingly bone-crushing hug. He looked like a lost puppy as he held his mother, staring at Harry for help and then at Remus who was watching the whole scene with a cool detachment, although Harry could tell he was proud of them to know that they’d come so far in their relationship.

“Mother…Mother, please-“ Draco whispered, squirming in her embrace as Sirius finally calmed down and turned his smirk to his favor.

“I’m just so happy for you darling,” Narcissa said, finally releasing him and wiping her eyes. She knew what such a moment meant to a veela. “Oh, look, I’ve wet you’re sweater-“ and she gave him a watery smile as she charmed him dry.

“This is great news guys!” Tonks cried, breaking the mother to son moment and diverting their attention to Draco’s embarrassment. “How far along are you?”

“F-four months,” he stuttered, trying hard not to blush. He couldn’t bring himself to meet his godfather’s eyes who was glowering at Sirius, who still couldn’t stop smirking.

Harry wanted to smack him. So what if Draco was a man? It was a blessing to be able to bear a child-and it was his child no less!

“Well, I’m very proud of you both,” Remus replied, sliding into the role their godfathers should have been playing. “As a veela, I know what this means to you.”

And Narcissa and Draco both gave him a grateful look, glad that at least there was person in this madhouse who sided with reason.

“Well, um…is anyone up for desert?” Harry asked when an uncomfortable silence reigned.

“Oo! I want more cake!” Tonks cried and followed Harry to the kitchen.

“Sirius!” Harry called from the doorway, “Come here! I need to show you something.”

His godfather, who had been on the verge of cracking some horrible joke at Draco’s expense, immediately closed his mouth and followed his godson like a faithful dog. As soon as he left, Draco visibly relaxed. He had never come to accept this relative. Sirius was so sarcastic and cynical that it tried Draco’s nerves every time.

“Draco dear, do you want to go lie down? You look tired.” His mother’s gentle voice and caress shook him from his thoughts and he cast a nervous glance at his stoic godfather before stuttering,

“I-in a moment…Severus?”

Coal black eyes met anxious grey ones and instantly softened. “Draco,” he managed to smile, “I’m happy for you and even if some find this…unusual, I know how important it is for a veela to bear a child for her-his-“ he quickly corrected, “-mate. I’m proud of you, son.”

And as he watched the tension leave his godson’s fair face and the happiness adorn his features, Severus realized just how much his opinion Draco valued. It was surprising, considering he had never been directly involved in Draco’s life. In a time when Draco needed his and perhaps Narcissa’s support most, they had been too busy fighting their own wars to help him. If not for Harry Potter…Severus shuddered to think what would have happened to his only godson and, as much as he hated to admit he had womanly emotions, he did cherish Draco-cherished him as perhaps a father would an only son.

**

“It’s not that funny!” Harry cried when Sirius snickered for the tenth time.

“Oh come, did you see the look on Snape’s face?” he cried, clutching his stomach as another bout of laughter seized him. “How I wished I hadn’t thrown away that ancient camera just for this occasion!”

“You couldn’t have held out till Draco left, could you?” his godson frowned as he stabbed the ice cream with the scoop, as though wishing it were his godfather’s head instead. “He’s embarrassed as it is without you making fun of him!”

And Sirius’ laughter instant dribbled. “Oh, I’m sorry Harry, I never meant to hurt his feelings, “ he quickly replied, hating to upset Harry in anyway. They’d just met for god’s sake! He couldn’t go about angering his godson just yet. “I’ll apologize if it helps-“

“Don’t bother,” Narcissa said as she marched in looking every bit the portrait of an angry mother. “I’m warning you Sirius, if you so much as upset my son again-“

“Yes, yes, you’ll hex my balls off,” Sirius finished, raising his palms up in defeat. “I’ll keep away from my nephew as long his godfather keeps out of my hair.”

Harry was about to reply that it would do them both good to keep out of each other’s hair when Narcissa caught his attention.

“Harry dear, why don’t you go be with Draco? Tonks and I will finish up the desert.”

He was about to protest, but the look she gave him was clue enough. With a nod and a silent warning to his godfather, Harry drifted to their bedroom. The room had been darkened and Harry noticed the addition of extra drapes on their window that he didn’t remember possessing.

“Draco?” he called, squinting into the darkness as his eyes slowly adjusted.

“In here…” came a weak reply.

Harry traced the voice to their bathroom and found him kneeling over the toilet seat, panting as he heaved up the dinner.

“Oh Draco…” he dropped to his side and ran a soothing hand down his back. “I thought it had stopped.” He hadn’t had morning sickness since the first two months.

“Me too,” he coughed. “Must be…my nerves.” And his voice shook as another spasm rocked him.

Harry nodded sympathetically and offered to get him tea once he had him safe in bed again. But Draco shook his head, too tired to say much more. Momentarily, he closed his eyes and before long drifted asleep to Harry’s soft caress.

Harry stayed with him some time more, in case he woke up. When he was sure Draco wouldn’t need him, he made his way out, leaving the door open a crack so he would hear if Draco called.

The party had dispersed in his absence. Snape had excused himself and gone with Remus to visit the “Diagon Alley” of San Francisco. Although they would both deny it if asked, Remus and Snape understood each other well.

Tonks and Sirius were out on the balcony, admiring the view. Harry ducked into the kitchen and was surprised to find Narcissa there.

“Harry, dear,” she greeted him with a smile, “Is he asleep?”

Harry nodded. “What are you doing?”

“Warming up milk. It should help calm him when he wakes up.” She poured the milk in a thermos and kept it aside as she spoke. “Is he eating on time?”

“We sit together and I make sure he has something,” Harry replied, wishing he had bothered to read more.

“And are you going regularly to the Healer’s?”

That Harry was adamant about. “He has an appointment tomorrow afternoon.”

Narcissa sighed and momentarily closed her eyes. When she opened them, they were glistening with unshed tears.

“I take he told you of-of his malady?”

Harry nodded.

“And you still agreed?”

He shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I?”

For a moment, she gave him a peculiar look, as though he had just spoken a foreign language before hastily wiping her eyes.

“I suppose I needn’t have worried,” she said, giving him a thin smile, “It’s not unusual for a mate to abandon a veela if their relationship staggers, especially in a case like Draco’s where…” But she couldn’t bring herself to finish.

“Mrs. Malfoy,” Harry began, “I would never leave Draco’s side. I really love him and even if we couldn’t have children, I would still want him with me.”

Narcissa took a shaky breath, calming her nerves as fresh tears rose to her eyes. “Yes, I-I know and I’m very grateful that my son has you beside him.”

Harry was touched. He knew Narcissa had never disapproved of him being Draco’s Chosen, but he had also known that because of who Harry was, Draco’s life would be endangered. That was all before the war and Voldemort’s defeat. Since then, Harry had proved himself worthy time and time again, and Narcissa didn’t have a reason to complain.

“Harry!” Sirius tramped in, a grin as usual plastered on his fine face. “You’ve got such a collection of muggle cds. I didn’t know you liked Jazz that much.”

“I don’t,” Harry honestly replied, “That’s all Draco’s. It relaxes him, he says.”

“Does he now?” and Harry could tell by Sirius’ thoughtful expression that he was reconsidering his cousin’s worth. After all, anyone who preferred Jazz could not be a complete dunce.

“Where is he anyways?” Tonks asked, bringing her finished plate to the kitchen sink and whisking her wand. The sponge began to clean on its own.

“Taking a nap,” Harry replied. He checked his watch. “He won’t be waking up anytime soon. Why don’t I show you around the neighborhood?”

“I think I’ll stay, dear,” Narcissa replied, “You can all go ahead.”

And Harry, who realized she also wanted time alone with her son, didn’t hesitate to lead his guests out.

**

When Draco came around, he wondered whether he had slept the whole evening. His room was too dark. Slowly he pushed himself up and sighed when the weariness caught up. He still felt incredibly tired, but he supposed that was because of the baby draining his magic. Cherri had warned him about the fatigue.

He wondered why the house was so quiet as he made towards the door. He was about to push it open when the room suddenly tilted and he staggered forward, losing his balance and falling to his knees with a startled cry. Instinctively, he clutched his stomach with one arm.

Narcissa, who was reading in the living room, jumped to her feet when she heard him.

“Draco!” she cried, kneeling beside him and surveying his frightened features worriedly. “What’s wrong? Why are you on the floor?”

“I slipped,” he murmured, not wanting to scare her more than she already was. He knew how frail his mother’s nerves were. “Could you help me up?”

“Of course, dear,” she replied, weaving her hand round his waist and supporting him to the living room. Draco dropped onto the nearest cushion, blinking fast to try and clear his head. The room was still spinning.

“You need to be more careful,” Narcissa said as she brushed back his bangs. “And why are you walking around barefoot? Let me go get your slippers.” And before he could stop her, she disappeared to their bedroom.

Draco clutched his head and shut his eyes, feeling nauseous. When he heard her coming, he sat up straighter and tried to act normal.

“Thank you, mother,” he smiled, willing his feet to slip into the soft slippers.

Narcissa, though, was not fooled. She was his mother after all.

“Are you feeling alright, love? You look pale. Should I get Harry?” she asked, touching his cheek and then his forehead, as though sure he had a fever.

“I’m alright. Just…a bit dizzy,” he replied, sinking into the cushions and closing his eyes with a tired sigh.

“It happens,” Narcissa comforted. “The baby is draining your magic so you’ll be a bit unsteady on your feet for the time being. How’s the morning sickness?”

Draco wished he didn’t have to talk to his mother about these things. It was bad enough being in this condition when he wasn’t a woman, but he understood her inquiry for concern.

“Not bad. I think I got lucky.” He didn’t mention the afternoon’s incident.

“Well, are you hungry? You need to eat a lot more now, Draco. You can’t be selfish anymore.”

Draco frowned. He did not want to get fat, but-

“I have no choice, do I? What’s for dinner?”

**

Dinner was pretty relaxed that night. Harry for once got a break as Tonks and Narcissa generously locked him out the kitchen. Draco retired early and it was decided when it came time to turn in for the night that Narcissa would stay in the guest room. Tonks, Remus, Sirius, and Snape had already made reservations at a nearby hotel.

“Call us if you need anything Harry,” Remus said as they said their good-nights.

“You’re on vacation. If anything, I should be touring you guys around. How long are you staying?”

“Another week and you don’t need to worry about us. Just be there for Draco,” and with a reassuring pat on the back, Remus followed the others out.

Harry closed the door with a sigh. He knew what Remus said was true, but Draco wasn’t a little kid. Besides, they both needed a bit of fresh air.

“Harry dear, will you take this to Draco?” Narcissa asked, appearing out of the kitchen with a glass of warm milk.

“I think he’s asleep,” Harry said, taking the glass nevertheless. “He doesn’t like being woken up.”

“I know dear, but he hardly ate anything. If he keeps eating like that, he won’t gain enough weight-“

And Harry thought, I don’t think he wants to.

“-the baby needs nutrients, Harry. Wake him up and make him drink it. This will be the least of his inconveniences.”

Harry gave in without argument. Biding her a good night, he retired to their bedroom. Draco was fast asleep, his breaths deep and even. Harry couldn’t remember the last time he had seen Draco sleeping so peacefully. He was usually such a restless sleeper.

He supposed there were pros to being pregnant. At least he wasn’t consuming his beloved coffee-although that meant he was rather more tired than usual for people in his condition.

“Draco,” Harry softly called, brushing his blond hair from his face and leaning in close. “Draco wake up.” He gently shook his shoulder, but Draco simply moaned, curling further in on himself and burying deeper under the blankets.

“Draco, get up and drink this milk or your mother will have my head.”

Grey eyes slowly opened and looked at him sleepily. “I didn’t know Mother scared you,” he murmured, a thin smile touching his lips.

“Enough with the jokes. Drink up. I’m tired.” And he held the glass to Draco’s lips once he was sitting up.

“Mother worries too much,” Draco said between sips.

“Only because she cares. She said you haven’t been eating well-“

“Because I’m not hungry.”

Harry looked at him levelly and when he traced no anger, pressed, “But you need to eat for the baby’s sake. If you’re worried about getting fat-“

“Harry!”

Harry started. “What?”

“How could you say that to me? You know I don’t care about that-not anymore anyways.”

“Then what is it?”

Draco shrugged and pushed aside Harry’s hand which still held the half finished glass. “I’ve been feeling sick again. Every time I eat, I throw up. I can’t seem to keep anything down.”

“And so you just stop eating?” Harry’s irritation sparked when Draco gave him a glare.

“I can’t keep anything down Harry! Do you expect me to spend my entire days next to the toilet?”

“No! But you could’ve told me! Merlin, Draco why do you have to be so-so-“

“So what?”

“So difficult about everything!”

“Oh I’m the one being difficult am I? Have you forgotten who got me into this state in the first place?”

Harry pursed his lips. “Are you regretting it?”

When Draco continued to seethe in silence he added, “Then you should have told me in the first place. I don’t want any child of mine coming into this world unwanted, Draco. If you weren’t so goddamn secretive about everything-is it so hard to be honest? I mean, we’ve been married for years for fuck’s sake! Why do you keep everything bottled up? All your thoughts and your feelings-God Draco, we’ve been together for so long and I still can’t read you!”

He breathed heavily, slamming the mug on the side table. “Sometimes, I don’t think I even know you.”

For the longest time, they remained as still as statues. Draco seemed to be holding his breath, waiting for Harry’s harsh pants to slow. He knew this was a difficult transition for Harry as much as it was for him. They were entering a new stage in their lives and neither of them knew what was expected of them.

He sighed and rubbed his head wearily. “If you’re done ranting, can we turn in? I’m tired.”

Harry gave him a sidelong glance and all his anger seemed to melt. With a small nod, he pulled back the covers and slid into bed.

The glass of milk remained forgotten, its warmth slowly evaporating into the chill of the night.

The Perfect Host

The next morning, Harry awoke earlier than usual. Draco was still asleep, snuggled under the covers. He knew his husband wouldn’t be up for another three hours at least, but Harry couldn’t afford to be lazy.

Sirius and the others would be over soon, as Harry had invited them for breakfast, and he wanted to do something for them. They had come such a long way for his birthday that Harry felt guilty for not being a better host.

Tidying himself, he strode to the kitchen and found the breakfast half done already. Narcissa was busy turning eggs as he gaped.

“You cooked breakfast?” he asked, unable to hide his surprise. He hadn’t even known she could cook!

Narcissa gave him a coy smile. “Every woman knows her way in the kitchen, Harry,” she remarked. “You needn’t be so surprised.”

“No-I mean, thanks for doing this. They should be here soon.” He grabbed plates and began setting up the table. “I’m thinking of taking them to the Gate and then to the national park. The weather’s nice too. Do you want to join us?”

“Are you taking everyone Harry?” and he knew whom she was referring to.

He shrugged. “I think he needs a change.”

Narcissa nodded, wanting to dissuade Harry from going altogether, but knowing it wasn’t her place to tell him so. Any arguing would have to be between him and her son.

“Oh, looks like they’re here,” Harry said, heading out the kitchen. “Could you please let them in? Tell them to start-I’ll just go wake Draco.”

Narcissa was about to tell him to let Draco sleep when the persistent door bell distracted her. With a sigh she carried out her son-in-law’s mandate, easily slipping into the role of a hostess for his sake.

Harry for his part was shaking Draco awake, telling him to hurry up and have his breakfast.

“Why are you buggering me so early in the morning?” Draco mumbled, curling into a ball and not bothering to open his eyes.

Harry snatched the blankets off him in response, but Draco didn’t seem to care. He went right on snoozing.

“Draco, we’re leaving in an hour. I let you sleep in, didn’t I? And you slept most of the day yesterday anyways-you can’t be that tired-“

“I am and I want to sleep,” came the muffled protest.

“Well you can’t-at least not if you want to come with us.”

That shook Draco’s sleep. Squinting at Harry he asked, “You’re going somewhere?”

“Not me-we. I’m taking them sightseeing. They’ve come so far for our sake Draco, it’s the least we can do for them.”

“Where?” Draco asked as he pushed himself up.

Harry folded the blankets as he answered, “Oh, just the Gate and the park. Maybe Crooked Street if we have time. I was thinking we could just have lunch down at the wharf and then order dinner on the way. We won’t have to worry about cooking and your mother can take a break.”

“Mother was cooking?” Draco asked, a slow smile touching his lips. The last time his Mother had cooked was before the war.

“She made breakfast and it looks good. You better get out before we finish everything.”

Draco watched his husband leave and sighed. He was still so tired…

**

“It’s so windy up here!” Tonks exclaimed, spreading out her hands like two wings. “I feel like I can fly!”

“Not with your weight you can’t,” Sirius retorted and earned a punch on the shoulder from his godson.

“Sirius, behave,” Harry muttered under his breath, although he too was fighting down a smile as Tonks rounded on Remus, demanding to know if he thought her fat. And while Remus’ assurances filled the air, Harry turned to look behind him.

Draco, Narcissa, and Severus were following them at a slower pace. They were admiring the view the clear day had afforded. Draco was pointing out the island that used to be a prison, explaining the history to his godfather who listened with interest. Narcissa stood beside her son, her thin hand looped through his arm, looking content and happy watching the animated way with which Draco talked. He usually talked so little that it was a mesmerizing sight whenever he abandoned himself in a conversation.

The fresh air and the walk seemed to be doing him good, Harry noted, for there was a brightness to his eyes that hadn’t been there for the past couple weeks.

“Harry, how far more?” Remus asked.

“We haven’t crossed half the bridge yet. Why? Are you tired?”

“Not me-“ and his gaze flickered to the trio behind them.

“He’s fine, Remus. I think the walk’s done him wonders.”

“Yes, he does look happy, but he musn’t push himself, Harry. We should go back.”

Harry looked at him quizzically. “Don’t you want to see the park? And what about the wharf? You have to see it!”

Remus smiled. “You sound as if this is the last time you’re expecting us to come. We are always invited aren’t we?”

“Of course-I didn’t mean it that way, but-well you’ve come so far from home for our sakes that it’s a waste if we don’t at least show you around in return.”

“Like a good host?”

Harry nodded.

“Then rest assured, Harry we are perfectly content with this. Isn’t that right, Siri?”

Harry turned to his godfather who had been close enough to overhear their conversation.

“That’s right, Harry,” he replied. “I came to see you in the first place anyways and seeing you so happy is more than enough.”

Before Harry could respond, Tonks cried, “I’m hungry! About time you treated us Harry-” and Harry swallowed whatever persuading remark he had conjured.

**

Harry took them to a cozy restaurant at the far end of the wharf. He had come here a couple times with a few of his colleagues and the dishes here were all to his taste. They settled in a private booth and began to peruse the menu with interest.

“Harry, this is all seafood,” Draco whispered.

“So? You like fish, don’t you Draco?”

Draco fought the urge to frown and patiently replied, “I do, but it’s not good for the baby.”

“Oh. Well, I suppose…Do you want me to get you something else?”

 And though his tone was placid, Draco couldn’t help but detect a hint of annoyance. Perhaps it was his imagination-or perhaps it wasn’t. They had been walking since the morning and it was late in the afternoon. Draco reasoned Harry was just as hungry and blamed his impatience on his empty stomach.

“No, that’s alright. I think I’ll have the soup and the pasta salad. Tell them to place it without the shrimp.”

With that cleared, they placed their orders and slipped into easy conversation while they waited. Harry wanted to know more of what was going on in London and he engaged the men in political topics while Tonks and Narcissa entertained each other with female gossip.

Draco eyed everyone sleepily. Now, sitting in the warm room snug in his coat, the afternoon’s missed nap was catching up to him. He stifled a yawn and shifted in his seat.

The appetizers came and everyone fell to sampling the seafood medley. Draco sipped water and tired to ignore his growling stomach. The smell of all the fried seafood began to twitch his nose and his stomach turned unpleasantly at the sudden assault on his senses. The many smells were making his eyes water.

“Harry, I’ll just be from the loo,” he said and pushed back his chair without waiting for his husband’s acknowledgment.

Covering his nose, he all but rushed past the tables to the safety of the men’s room. He leaned over the sink and splashed his face with cool water, closing his eyes to calm his senses. His head was beginning to throb.

Draco knew how sensitive his nose was these days and he should have been prepared, but he was so tired that the food’s arrival had caught him by surprise. He massaged his temple, wincing when it gave a vicious throb.

So much for a day out, he darkly thought, wishing he had never come.

“Draco?” Severus walked towards him, his eyes betraying the worry when his composure did not. “Are you alright?”

Draco nodded. “It’s just the smells. I’ll be fine.” And when his godfather remained standing beside him, added, “You should go. The food will be here soon.”

But Severus ignored him. “Do you need to sit down? You look pale.”

“I’m always pale,” and he managed a thin smile although he was beginning to feel weak. “But, maybe we should head out.”

Snape held the door open for him and as they made their way out, Draco brushed his hand against the wall for support when he began feeling light headed. As though he read Draco’s thoughts, Snape clasped him firmly by the elbow and steered him towards their booth.

“Draco!” Narcissa cried as soon as they walked in.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked, leaning over once he was seated.

“Nothing-just dizzy…” And Draco dropped his head in his hands, closing his eyes tight to block the vertigo.

“Give him some water,” Remus suggested and Harry snatched his glass, holding it to Draco’s lips.

“Drink,” he ordered, slowly tipping the glass.

Draco took a few sips before tearing away.

“Harry…I feel sick,” he groaned as sudden nausea swept over him.

“Shit!” Harry cursed, scrambling to his feet as Severus helped his godson up. In between them, they supported Draco back to the restroom and Draco bent over the nearest sink, retching his breakfast and whatever else he had consumed since morning.

Harry patted his back while Severus held him steady, both watching helplessly.

“I’ve canceled the order,” Remus said coming in. “Harry, you should get the car.”

Although he hated leaving Draco, Harry nodded and obediently left. Remus took his spot beside Draco and continued to stroke his back the way Harry had.

For how long he stood over the sink, Draco didn’t know, but his legs could hardly hold him up by the time he was done. The restaurant manager who had come to check on them helpfully produced a chair and Draco sank into it, one hand wrapped weakly about his stomach.

Remus made him drink the cold tea the manager offered and then Severus and he helped him to the car waiting outside. Harry drove as fast as he could without jostling the car too much.

“Pay attention to the road,” Sirius remarked when he almost ran the stop light for the second time.

He couldn’t help glancing in the rear view mirror at Draco who was still battling nausea. By the time they reached home, he had thrown up two more times, dry heaving when the contents of his stomach emptied. They wasted no time in taking him straight to the bedroom.

Draco was so tired that he reclined on the bed without protest, closing his eyes with a small sigh. Harry took off his shoes and helped him change once they were left in privacy.

“I’m sorry, Draco. I shouldn’t have pushed you,” he said as he buttoned his shirt, looking both guilty and worried.

“’S not your fault, love. I thought I could handle it,” came the sleepy murmur.

Harry smoothed the blankets and was busy closing the curtains when Narcissa peeked in.

“Is he asleep?” she whispered, walking to the bedside.

It seemed he was.

“I’ll watch him Harry,” she said, pulling an armchair.

He consented, even though all he wanted to be by his husband’s side. He had guests to look after.

**

The house was quiet the rest of the evening. Tonks helped Harry make dinner while the others lounged in the balcony, speaking in muted tones so as not to disturb the peace. Harry checked on Draco during intervals, but found him still deeply asleep.

He was setting the table when Narcissa emerged, looking worried.

“What’s wrong? Is he awake?” Harry asked, immediately concerned.

“No, but he feels warm. Harry, I think he has a fever.”

“A fever?” Harry’s voice was weak. He hadn’t read much, but even he knew that a fever was unwelcome for anyone expecting.

He followed Severus, Remus, and Narcissa to their room and while they assessed Draco’s condition, Harry stood beside himself with worry.

“It’s a 102,” Narcissa informed, reading her slim wand.

“We better get the Healer. Harry, perhaps I could use your Floo?” Severus asked and Harry could only nod as he sank to his knees beside the bed.

Softly, he brushed the blonde bangs off Draco’s pale forehead and laid a cool palm on his seething temple. Draco lips parted in an inaudible sigh, but he didn’t stir otherwise.

“I shouldn’t have dragged him out,” Harry whispered as Tonks brought a bowl of rose water and damp towels. “I shouldn’t have pushed him like that.”

“Don’t berate yourself Harry,” she said, leaning over to wipe Draco’s dewy neck and flushed cheeks. “You couldn’t have known and he seemed well enough. He didn’t complain, did he?”

Harry snorted. “He wouldn’t even if he wanted to.”

“The Healer is here,” Narcissa announced and Harry rose to his feet to greet Cherri.

She was all business and had eyes only for Draco.

“How long has he been sleeping?” she asked, feeling his forehead.

“Um, about five hours I guess,” Harry quickly estimated.

“Has he been eating properly?”

“Yes, but he started having morning sickness again-“

“When?” she sharply questioned.

“Two days prior. It’s normal, isn’t it?”

“I’m afraid not. He shouldn’t be upchucking anymore, given he had a very mild case of it to begin with. Has he been very tired lately?”

Harry nodded, but it was Narcissa who answered. “He also had dizzying spells and headaches.”

Cherri looked grave. “Harry, I don’t know what exactly is wrong, but I do know that this isn’t normal. Is it possible for you to bring him in tomorrow morning? I’d like to run a few tests.”

“That’s not a problem, but-“ and Harry licked his lips nervously, “-he’ll be fine, won’t he?”

“I hope so. For now, let’s hope his fever stays down. Contact me if it soars over a 104.”

She suggested a few safe potions and Remus saw her to the hearth.

**

Severus departed to grab the potions before the nearest apothecary closed and the house once again maintained the silence. When Snape returned, Harry softly aroused Draco and held him up in his arms while Narcissa held a cup to his lips.

He was so tired that he could barely sit and fell into a dreamless sleep as soon as he’d swallowed the nasty potion. But although he slept like baby, everyone else waited in tense silence.

Narcissa took to checking his temperature every so often, breathing a sigh of relief each time it remained constant and worrying her lips to death when it rose the tiniest amount. Tonks comforted herself by keeping her cousin cool, dousing his perspiring forehead and neck with soothing rose water.

Harry didn’t know what to think or do. He couldn’t help berating himself over and over as he gazed at Draco’s flushed features. He held his limp hand, caressing it absently with his thumb while he lost himself to his worried thoughts.

Severus Snape paced around in the living room, while Remus sat on the sofa, silent and unmoving. Sirius’ eyes followed Snape’s movements, until finally he cracked.

“Stop pacing! You’re going to dent the floor.”

Snape sent him a vicious glare, but said nothing. He stood frowning, his hands clasped behind his back. Sirius found his silence even more annoying.

“He’ll be fine-this is Draco Malfoy we’re talking about. The boy has survived just about everything-“

“Don’t say another word!” Severus calmly grit out, the gravity of the situation keeping him from hexing the man into next Monday.

“Siri, let’s hope so,” Remus replied, his eyes on the carpet as worry pooled in his stomach. “If the fever doesn’t break, he could lose the baby.”

Sirius’ eyes widened at that and he looked reproachfully away, sealing his lips with determined silence. In the next room, Harry stared at the clock and miserably watched it tick away.

 Unwelcome and Welcome News

To everyone’s immense relief, Draco’s fever finally broke around one. Harry barely had the energy to drag himself into bed before falling into an exhausted slumber. When morning came, Draco didn’t remember much of what transpired over night, although Tonks and Sirius didn’t hold back from reminding him when he admitted to being in a fog.

“I’m sorry I worried you,” he sheepishly replied and of course, he was forgiven on the spot.

“That’s good and well, Draco, but you must promise to tell me or Harry at the slightest sign of discomfort,” his mother coddled and Draco fought the urge to roll his eyes, nodding meekly instead. He didn’t want anyone to worry on his count if he could help it.

Harry seemed to read his thoughts because he merely frowned, but chose to remain silent. He knew better than to argue in public.

“Draco, the appointment’s this afternoon. Make sure you’re ready before lunch,” he said, grabbing his coat.

“Where are you going?” he asked and everyone stilled to watch them.

Harry shrugged. “A walk. I’ll be back quick so get ready.” And without so much as a ado, he left.

Draco closed his eyes when the door slammed and heaved a sigh.

“He’ll get over it, I’m sure,” Remus reassured, patting Draco on the back. “He was worried sick and up all last night. The fatigue must be getting to him.”

Draco nodded and gave him a small smile which he hoped was confident. He knew Harry was mad at him for keeping things locked up again. Draco couldn’t help it though. He just wasn’t much of an emotional person on the outside and didn’t feel comfortable revealing his feelings, even to the most important person in the world. It hurt him to know that Harry just didn’t understand this.

**

When the appointed time came, Harry and Draco drove silently to the hospital. Draco sensed he was still angry and he was much too tired to make amends. He just wanted to sleep.

They made their way to the ward and then Cherri ushered him in for tests while Harry waited, not even bothering to ask if Draco wanted him in there.

With a sigh, Harry watched Draco go in and sank onto the nearest bench when the door closed. He knew he shouldn’t be so uptight, but he couldn’t help it. Didn’t Draco see that this wasn’t about him alone anymore? There was a precious life inside him now that he needed to protect and cherish above all else. Couldn’t he lay aside his pride for once and just let Harry in?

It wasn’t much to ask now, was it? For all of thirty minutes, Harry sat alone on the bench, glancing around wistfully and counting the ticking seconds with little patience. Finally, the door creaked open, but instead of seeing Draco, Harry met Cherri’s stoic stare, beckoning him into her office.

“Where’s Draco?” Harry asked as he took a seat.

“Changing,” she shortly replied and cut straight to the point. “Harry, I want to take this time to give you some bad news.”

Harry’s breath caught in his throat. “What? Is the baby ok?” he croaked.

Cherri nodded. “The baby’s alright-doing exceptionally fine, in fact. But it’s not the baby I’m concerned about, Harry, its Draco. Can you tell me how he’s been faring? Has he been in pain at all?”

Harry shrugged. “He sleeps a lot more and is tired all the time…He-he threw up a couple times and I don’t think he’s had much of an appetite, but he hasn’t said anything about being in pain.” He frowned. “Has he mentioned it to you?”

Cherri paused before slowly nodding and watched the scowl deepen.

“I can’t believe it! Why didn’t he say anything?” he cried. “God, Cherri doesn’t he see this is about more than his stupid pride? I wish he would tell me these things!”

“Have you tried calmly telling him this?” she quietly asked.

“Of course I have! He knows I want to know, but still he keeps all his feelings locked up. I don’t know how I can help him if never tells me what the problem is!”

“No, you can’t, but perhaps Draco just finds it hard to confide his own feelings-“

“Even if it’s to me-his husband-his soul-mate?”

Cherri sighed as she opened a file and tacked up translucent charts on a bright screen.

“Harry, do you see this?” she asked, pointing to dark smudges on the grayish texture. He nodded and gulped when he realized it was an x-ray-Draco’s x-ray chart.

“See this here?” she pointed to a kidney bean shaped blob. “You can’t see it now of course, but the baby is growing inside this sac-like structure. It functions like the uterus in a woman. The white glow around it is a magical containment cell- a sort of protection barrier Draco’s veela magic has formed. And these dark smudges are ruptured vessels, damage Draco’s body has taken protecting the baby from his own blood.”

She turned to face him and leaned forward on her arms, eyes grave. “Harry,  I know I promised that if you both take the necessary precautions, the baby will be born fine, but to be honest, I couldn’t be a hundred percent sure until I knew how Draco’s body handled the change.”

“And?” Harry whispered.

“And,” she sighed, “it doesn’t seem too well. This family disease has started to take its toll on him. The cells, which under normal circumstances would carry nutrients and oxygen to the baby, have resorted to attacking it instead. The contained magic perceives them as a threat and has blocked the permeable barrier. In order to compensate for the loss, the baby is draining more and more magic from Draco.”

“But isn’t it normal for a baby to do that?” Harry asked, drawing on what little he knew about these matters.

“Yes, but to a limit.” She pointed to the vessels again. “These are blood vessels that are connected straight to the containment cell of the baby, which are now being denied access. In time, more and more blood vessels will try to break through the barrier, depriving Draco’s own body of the much needed blood.

The weight gain that any normal pregnancy would entail has stalled because of this. His body isn’t able to store excess nutrients because it’s already working hard to replenish what the baby and the excess magic is draining. The fever he had the other day was in response to this. “

Harry tried to process the information while his mind fired a thousand questions. Licking his lips, he asked, “Then what-what will this mean for the baby? For Draco?”

“For now, we’ll simply have to monitor them both. I’ve done several blood tests and x-rays. So far, it looks alright, but he’ll probably be more tired than is normal.” She suddenly took in a deep breath before continuing.

“Harry, I know this is a lot to take in, but I need you to understand that if Draco’s body isn’t able to cope, there will be irreparable damage-“

“What do you mean?” Harry’s insides tightened with worry.

“For one, there could be damage to the hip bone the further he takes the baby to term. If he doesn’t adequately gain weight, it’s going to put more strain on his spine and hip, which might cause arthritis-like symptoms during and post birth. And there are always the implications of this disease to consider.

The reason we need to monitor him is to make sure that he has enough blood circulating for himself as well as the baby. The more vessels that rupture, the more the circulation is disturbed and the more magic centers around the containment. I won’t say this will be an easy pregnancy once the due date comes.

Also, although we can give him transfusions for the red blood cells, the magical cells he’s losing will weaken his normal immune system considerably. It may tax his other organs and systems, and make him more vulnerable to infections.”

She suddenly reached out and touched Harry’s sweaty hand, looking at him with soft but nonetheless grave eyes. “If it comes to that Harry, we may have to remove the baby in order to save him.”

Harry’s eyes grew wide. “Wh-what?” he gasped, “You mean we’ll have to-we’ll have to-“

She nodded sympathetically. “If he carries the baby to term in such conditions, he’ll be too weak to survive the actual birth. We’ll have to take the necessary precautions and abort the baby before hand.”

He curled his fingers to stop his hands from shaking. “And what if…what if he refuses to abort?”

She didn’t reply at once. “If he decides not to abort, the baby will probably survive, but I’m afraid he might not.”

Harry closed his eyes and took in a shaky breath. “Does he-does he know?” he hoarsely whispered.

“Yes,” she replied, “I talked to him before calling you out.”

“And how did he react?” he asked, looking at her with such distraught eyes that Cherri couldn’t help reaching out to clasp his hand firmly in hers.

“He was…calm. I think he’ll be more open with you, but Harry, you realize we may never come to this state. It’s still too early to tell and, other than his unsteady weight gain, Draco is doing alright.”

“But it can happen,” he retorted, “And in that case-in that case we need to be prepared.”

“Well, then you can start by giving him this-“ she handed him a piece of paper. “I’ve prescribed two potions. The first one should be taken before bed and the other after every meal. Both two teaspoons each. It’ll make him a bit woozy at first, but they should help with the weight gain and supply the vitamins he’s lacking.”

Harry folded the paper in his pocket as she continued, “I’m giving him a transfusion right now, which should be done oh, in another fifteen minutes. You can take him home then and I’ll see you in three days, will that be alright?”

He nodded. “Will he have to have a transfusion each time?” Harry knew how much Draco disliked needles. It wasn’t so much a phobia as much as mutual disgust.

“Let’s hope not-they can be a little uncomfortable. Do you have any other questions, Harry?” And she smiled gently at him, but Harry couldn’t bring himself to smile back.

“No,” he sighed.

“Good,” she perked, “then how would you like to see your baby?”

And even if Harry felt as though all happiness was lost, his lips slowly twitched into a reluctant smile.

**

“Come one in Harry,” Cherri motioned and Harry timidly followed her inside the examining room.

Draco was sitting in an armchair, his arm drawn. A nurse was just removing the needle. As Harry’d thought, Draco didn’t look too happy and he noticed his lips thinned even more when their eyes met. Harry knew what he was thinking about. They were going to have a long talk tonight.

“Alright Draco?” Cherri greeted and he tried to smile back. “Would you like to show Harry now?”

He looked at his husband again and slowly nodded, straightening in the chair as Cherri positioned her wand over his stomach. She showed Harry the wand movement: a quick flick of the wrist and told him the incantation: Finis Revalo.

“Why don’t you try it Harry?” she offered, stepping aside.

Harry pulled back his sleeve and did as shown. “Finis Revalo!” he chanted and at once a warm golden glow encased Draco’s stomach. In the projection of light hovering like a translucent ball in midair, Harry could trace a dark shape that was cradled in the yellow glow.

He gasped when the little blob moved. “Is that-is that-“

“Yes, that’s your baby, Harry,” Cherri put in. “See that crescent shape? If you lean in closer, you can make out the little hands and feet. The baby is sucking its thumb.”

He moved closer, squinting, and marveled at the tiny fingers and the closed eyes and the large head, and the little toes, and the adorable everything that was his and Draco’s. He couldn’t believe that he’d helped create a life and it was growing, right there, inside the person he loved the most in the world.

A sudden rush of warmth washed over him and he smiled brightly at Draco, whose eyes hadn’t once left him. He gave him a tired smile of his own, though it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Cherri said she can tell us the gender,” he said, “Do you want to know?”

“Don’t you?” Harry retorted.

He shrugged. “I think I have a feeling I already do, but I guess-just to be sure-“ and he looked at Cherri who wordlessly took the cue.

She pointed her wand again, this time casting silent spells that made Draco’s stomach glow in a flood of colors. Then she stepped back with a big smile on her face.

“Do you have a guess Harry?” she asked because he was looking at her as if she were a Sphinx who had all the answers to the universe.

“Uh-a boy?” he tried, a hopeful gleam in his eyes.

Her smile widened. “Lucky guess! It’s a boy after all!”

And Harry couldn’t conceal his joy. “What’d I tell you Draco? Didn’t I say it was a ‘he’ from the start?”

Draco gave a half-hearted chuckle. “Since when have you ever been wrong, love?”

And he let Harry peck his lips. “Thank you,” his husband whispered and Draco meekly accepted the flood of love that shone in his eyes.

**

Laughter greeted them as they stepped into their home.

“That’s Sirius laughing like a mad man again,” Harry remarked as he took Draco’s jacket. “Wonder what they’ve been up to.”

“As long as your godfather hasn’t broken anything…I’m going to go take a nap. Will you wake me for dinner?” Draco asked and although Harry wanted him to stay till they revealed the good news, he could see how tired Draco was.

“Alright, I’ll call you,” and he watched Draco climb the spiraling stairs to their bedroom.

“Harry!” Remus called, peeking out from the balcony. “When did you get back?”

“Just now,” he replied and then broke into a grin to rival Cherri’s smile, “Wait tell I you what I saw!”

**

Draco lay awake in bed, unable to sleep. He could hear the happy squeals from below, his mother’s and Harry’s easily the loudest. He understood how ecstatic Harry was feeling of course and he didn’t begrudge him the happiness, but the overriding pool of worry and fear banished any trace of celebratory feeling Draco might have harbored.

What Cherri had told him was haunting him now. He was extremely tired, but he couldn’t sleep. Unconsciously, he rubbed circles on his stomach, feeling the baby move once in a while in response to his caress.

He closed his eyes and hummed. A sigh escaped him, but no sleep came. What he had been dreading from the start, was happening. His body was trying to harm the precious life. Of course, Cherri had said that it was he who was going to suffer any damage done. His magic would protect the baby, if only to destroy him. But, Draco could live with that. As long as the baby survived, Draco would be happy.

The only problem was, supposing a life and death situation did occur, how would he convince Harry to let him go? He knew that as much as Harry wanted this baby, he would never sacrifice Draco in the process, but if he couldn’t have them both and he had to choose, Draco wanted Harry to choose the baby over him.

After all, what mother would kill her child to protect herself?

**

“Harry, can we talk?”

It was due time to retire. Their guests had already left. Narcissa was in the guest room below and Harry was changing into pajamas when Draco’s soft voice demanded his full attention. He gulped, hating the conversation they were about to have, but Harry had never been to one to run away.

He nodded and beckoned Draco towards their bed.

“Cherri told you everything, didn’t she?” Draco asked a he curled against the bedpost, his knees drawn to his chest.

“She did,” Harry replied, “and she also told me what could happen if the baby…well if he-if he takes too much of your magic. You know what we have to do then, don’t you?”

“And you know what I’d want you to do then, don-“

“No, I don’t-and I won’t!” Harry firmly cut in, staring Draco straight in the eyes. “You’re far more important, Draco-“

“Over what? Our own child? Harry, if something happens to me, I want you to save the baby-“

“I can’t!” Harry pleaded, “Draco, don’t you see? What am I going to do with our baby alone? I can’t sacrifice you like that-“

“Then you would kill an innocent child? You would murder our child?”

Harry shrugged. “If it means saving you…then yes, I would.”

Draco didn’t say anything, merely stared at his husband with disbelief and…disdain.

“This is exactly why I was afraid to have a child in the first place!” he spat, anger shining freely in his tired eyes. “I just knew something like this was bound to happen! Curse my luck and this-this bloody disease! Harry, you can’t let our child die. If you love me, you’ll save the baby and let me go-“

“How can you ask me to that?” Harry shouted, feeling frustrated and betrayed. “How can I kill-Merlin Draco, can’t you understand that I can’t do that?”

Draco frowned and replied darkly, “Then if you can’t Harry, I will. You may be my husband, but I still have rights over my own life. Whether I choose to abort or not, it’s my decision and I bloody well will not!”

Harry stared horrified at him. “How could you do this me!” he cried, his eyes wide with shock and fear. “Draco-“ and he reached out, but Draco shied away from him. “Draco, y-you can’t-I-you can’t leave me!”

Tears pricked his eyes and Draco’s anger melted at his distress. With a sigh, he took Harry’s limp hand and pulled him close, wrapping him in a warm embrace. Harry buried his face in Draco’s neck, all the while pleading for him not to leave him.

“What’ll I do without you Draco?” he sobbed. “If we-if we lose him, we can try again sometime, but if I lose you-God! Draco, what’ll I do then?”

“Shh, calm down, love,” Draco whispered, running a soothing hand up his back. “It’s alright, I’m not going anywhere.”

He kissed the messy raven hair and silently rocked them, waiting for Harry to still. When at last he quieted, except for the occasional sniff, Draco said,

“I know how much you love me, Harry and you know you mean the world to me, but sometimes, it’s better to let things run their course-“ Harry raised his head to protest, but Draco silenced him with a finger to his lips. “Listen to me love,” he pleaded and waited for Harry to resign before he continued.

With a wistful sigh, Harry sank back into his arms, his hands wrapped possessively around Draco’s waist.

“I know how much this baby means to you,” Draco went on, “-and honestly, I hadn’t really thought about how much I wanted him until Cherri confirmed my fears…I can’t lose him, Harry-not now-not after it’s been almost five long months. You don’t know what it’s like to have him in you. I can feel him move, you know-he’s alive Harry and has as much right to see this world as you and I.”

“Draco-“ Harry moaned, but he cut in-

“I know what you’re going to say, but think about it Harry. If something happened and we did end up aborting him, do you really think we’ll be able to have children again? You heard Cherri. I won’t be in any condition to even think about having kids and who knows what other complications will arise? I could be in bed forever for all we know, and you’ll be stuck taking care of me for the rest of our lives. Is that what you want Harry? To see me in that state-helpless and with no child to call our own. If I die early, Harry, whose company will you keep then? Who will you live for?”

“Stop…Just, stop Draco, please.” And he looked so shaken, his face pale, that Draco pursed his lips, watching him tentatively.

Answer me, his eyes demanded, and Harry had to look away. There was too much trust and purity in those eyes.

“I don’t care,” he finally whispered, his cheek resting on Draco’s shoulder. “I don’t care whether we have any kids or not-I can live without them if I can have you…And as long you’re alive, Draco, I’ll happily do whatever I can to make life bearable.”

He clutched Draco’s shirt tightly, his knuckles white, and his voice trembled as he spoke, “I know how much this means to you, but I can’t lose you-I won’t lose you, no matter what it takes. If you decide not to abort, I can overrule your judgment. You won’t be in any state to make decisions, Draco, and we both know it.”

Draco was quiet. He didn’t know how else to convince his stubborn husband. How could he admit that he would rather die than be some invalid for the rest of his life? How could he say that he thought the life of this precious child far more important than his husband’s own love for him?

He couldn’t-it would break Harry’s heart and Harry had endured enough on his part. Absently, he laced his fingers through his raven locks, a faraway look in his eyes. He didn’t even notice when Harry ducked from under his touch until he kissed him fully on the lips.

He was very gentle and so slow, that Draco almost melted in his arms. He moaned when Harry’s tongue tunneled in deeper and sank against the cushions. Harry leaned over him, tracing his drawn features and tired eyes with concern.

He ran a long finger down his cheek and then leaned down to trail kisses up his jaw. Draco closed his eyes and surrendered himself to Harry’s affections. They hadn’t had much time to be like this since the guests and Draco had been so tired lately that he hadn’t had much energy to do more than eat and sleep.

“You’re still so thin,” Harry murmured against his neck as his hands trailed beneath Draco’s shirt, lightly caressing his stomach.

Draco remained passive. He let Harry pull off his shirt and lay back as his husband’s lips ravished him, irritating his already sensitive nipples and sending a trail of rosy kisses down the flushed skin. He bit his lip from crying out, but couldn’t help moaning under Harry’s skillful touch. His husband knew his body like the back of his hand after all.

Harry looked into his hazy eyes and smiled softly. He kissed Draco’s cheek and brushed back his hair, one hand on rubbing soothing circles on his stomach.

“You really want to have him don’t you?” he asked. The unsaid sadness in his grey eyes broke Harry’s heart.

Draco nodded. “I can’t kill him, Harry. Please, don’t ask me to,” he murmured, his eyes drooping with sleep.

“I won’t,” Harry promised. “It’s not your fault, Draco, whatever happens. I don’t want you blaming yourself, love.”

And though Draco knew that his husband was only trying to be supportive, he couldn’t help but feel as though Harry had already given in to the inevitable.

 Ill Omens                                                                                                        

Another week went by. Harry and Draco returned one Saturday after waving their guests good-bye. Their last week together had been pleasant. The potions Cherri had given Draco seemed to be doing wonders and, although he did sleep it off the first two days, Draco woke up more refreshed than tired. They were able to finish a brief tour and treat their guests as Harry had wanted to before seeing them off.

“What’s on the agenda now?” Draco asked as they got ready for bed that night.

“Hm? No surprises for one,” Harry replied as he sidled under the blankets next to his husband. “I start work Monday and I’ll probably be out late, but I want you to contact me if you need anything, ok? I’ll leave the floo open and I won’t take Raven with me. He’ll be here for the time being so you can use him however you want.”

Draco nodded, sliding against the pillows so that his head rested on Harry’s shoulder. Harry’s arm encircled his waist, pulling him closer.

“Did you tell anyone about…?” Draco asked as he played with the buttons on Harry’s pajama top.

“No, did you want me to?”

Draco shook his head. “The less people know the better. I can’t be the cause for worry.”

Harry brushed back blond hair from his forehead and kissed him. “You know you’re not a bother, Draco. They love you too much to think so.”

“Still..it bothers me to worry them.”

Harry sighed and watched as Draco’s hand unconsciously rested on his stomach, running circles slowly.

“Why do you keep doing that?” he asked.

“Hm? Doing what?”

“That-“ he pointed at his hand. “Is he hurting you?”

Draco took a moment to stare at what his hand was doing before laughing softly. “No, he isn’t hurting me, but…” He took Harry’s hand and pressed it to his stomach.

“Draco, what-“

“Shh…just wait.”

So Harry waited for what seemed like an impossibly long time before something thudded against his palm. He gasped, snatching his arm back, eyes wide.

“Draco that-he moved!” he cried

“He kicked,” Draco corrected. “He’s been doing that since yesterday. I wasn’t sure whether you’d be able to feel him-“

“I did,” Harry whispered, “He’s strong.” And he pressed his palm against Draco’s stomach again, waiting. When their son moved again, he smiled.

“Do that spell, Harry. I want to see him,” Draco demanded and Harry was only too happy to oblige.

He flicked his wand, saying the spell, and at once the golden glow projected the little life. He was curled like before, but every once in a while, his little leg gave a vicious kick before settling back again.

Harry couldn’t help but laugh as he watched his son’s antics. “He’ll make one great football player,” he commented.

“Foot ball?” Draco murmured, his eyes sleepily tracing the babe’s soft features.

“A muggle game where you kick a ball around,” Harry absently replied. “I bet he’ll make a fast Seeker. It’s in his blood after all.  Draco, do you think…” But one look at Draco’s closed eyes told Harry his husband was too far gone to listen.

He pulled the blankets higher and kissed Draco’s cheek. Still too excited to sleep, Harry turned to the projection and watched his son as he yawned and kicked and yawned again. For how long he stayed awake marveling at the wonder that was their son, he didn’t know.

But once his eyes drooped and his head dropped back on the pillow, the golden projection faded and darkness encased the bedroom.

**

Draco woke up to sunlight spilling through the blinds and his other half gone. It had been two weeks since Harry resumed work. He left around six and didn’t return until ten or sometimes even eleven at night. The Aurors were busy tracking the latest miscreants and that only meant overtime for Harry.

Draco told him he didn’t mind-that he could manage. But Harry worried nevertheless, sending Raven constantly with little messages and popping in the floo once in a while to keep him company if he wasn’t busy during lunch break.

Draco didn’t mind his attentions, but he did wish Harry would stop worrying. He was doing fine after all. Since he started taking the potions, he’d even gained weight-albeit not as much as Cherri would have liked, but it was an improvement.

When he wasn’t being bugged by his husband, Draco spent his time curled on the sofa reading or in the kitchen putting together snacks Harry would surely have condoned. He couldn’t help it. Flavors that otherwise would have repulsed him made his mouth water and he was constantly hungry.

He knew all about these odd cravings of course-Draco studied religiously whenever he cared about any subject-but he wished he didn’t have them at odd times. He wondered how many more nights his husband was going to have to travel all the way to China to get him a bottle of hot sauce. He hoped his son’s taste stayed within U.S. borders at least.

The thought of his son demanding food amused him as he closed the bathroom door for a shower. It was late evening, but Harry wouldn’t be due back till another three hours or so. Draco reasoned a second hot shower was just the remedy for his sore muscles, especially his back.

He stepped out of his clothes and while he waited for the water to warm, he examined his reflection in the tall mirror. He was showing noticeably now, although he guessed it would still be two months till his stomach swelled like a quaffle.

He ran a hand over the sensitive skin, smiling when his son responded to his touch. He pinched his cheek, leaning over the sink to see how much weight he had gained. In all honesty, Draco wasn’t worried at all about becoming pudgy. His family had a history of good, fast metabolic genes, so he reckoned after the delivery it would take him less than three weeks, maybe a month at the most, to lose all that fat.

When the water was warm enough, Draco slipped under the shower. He took his time lavishing himself. The hot water did wonders for his sore back and relaxed him. When he rubbed his hand over his stomach, he felt the baby respond. Smiling, Draco leaned against the wall and closed his eyes briefly, reveling in the sensation of the bundle of love inside him.

“Only four more months,” he whispered, “Please, stay with me…” He gasped when he felt a flutter as the baby kicked and winced. All that kicking…it was making his insides sore and he knew he shouldn’t feel this way.

He remembered the charts Cherri had showed him-remembered her telling him how the baby would harm him. She had offered an option then:  to remove the baby before the term and try to preserve it outside the womb, but Draco had flat out refused, warning her not to disclose it to Harry.

He knew the risks that would pose for the baby. Their son was not normal. He was part veela and would die if kept outside the womb before his time. They could keep him alive with potions, but the end result would be the same. If he somehow managed to survive, there was the chance he could become a squib or worse, suffer from magical ailments that no child should have to endure.

No, Draco had firmly decided to carry the child no matter the risks to his health. He only hoped that when the time came, his husband would make the right decision and save the precious life over his.

“Active today, aren’t we?” he muttered, wincing again. He turned off the faucet and dripped out, reaching for the towel with one hand while he steadied himself with the other. He dressed clumsily, feeling a bit light headed from all the steam.

“Settle down,” he murmured as he ventured into their bedroom and sank onto the bed, one arm wrapped around his stomach. He felt suddenly tired and vaguely wondered if he had forgotten the morning potion.

Harry always made sure he took it on time, but why then was he feeling so lethargic? Blaming his tiredness on the warm water, Draco snuggled under the covers, heedless of the time, and promptly fell asleep.

**

He awoke feeling a little too warm. Cracking his eyes open, he noted that the room was very dark-someone had closed the curtains. He made to move his arms and felt a dead weight on them.

Squinting, he poked the lump that was now sprawled against him, legs tangled with his and arms thrown carelessly over his swollen belly.

“Harry,” Draco croaked, “Wake up.”

It didn’t take long for his husband to wake and when he did, he sat up with a sheepish grin, looking every bit as guilty and ruffled, still dressed in his work robes.

“You fell asleep,” Draco noted as Harry ran a hand through his wild hair.

“Sorry. I came with the intention of waking you, but couldn’t bring myself to disturb you. Had a good sleep?”

Draco nodded, yawning lazily, not bothering to sit up just yet. If he moved, he knew the baby would wake and then he’d have to run to the bathroom.

“You’re home early,” he said conversationally as Harry pulled off his work robe and began to undo his shirt buttons.

“Yeah, I wrapped up my case today and decided to bolt before they could shove me with another.” He shrugged the shirt off and smirked when he saw Draco watching him with half-open eyes.

“And,” he continued, crawling on the bed on all fours like a tiger, “I wanted to see you. I was suddenly hungry.”

“Hungry?” Draco licked his lips, tilting his chin as Harry leaned over him.

“Mm…” They kissed softly and then deeply.”Yeah, hungry for you,” Harry finished, pausing to brush blonde strands from Draco’s eyes.

“Then eat me,” came the distracted reply before slender arms looped around his neck, pulling him down to meet red lips again.

Warning: explicit sex

 Draco’s hands stroked Harry’s lean back, feeling the muscles tighten and relax as Harry bent to nibble at his exposed neck. He was straddling Draco, but was careful not to put his weight on his stomach

“I see you took a shower without me,” Harry murmured as he licked at the sensitive flesh behind Draco’s ear.

Draco almost giggled-that tickled!-and turned his head so his husband could lavish his lips instead. He felt nimble hands pushing up his bathrobe, undoing the loose knot to expose him fully.

He moaned when Harry grasped him, arching off the bed and thrusting slowly into his hand.

“Not too tired?” Harry asked in a hoarse whisper dripping with need.

“Never for this,” Draco murmured, tracing Harry’s parted lips before slipping in his ring finger into the moist cave.

Harry lavished Draco’s slender digits, sucking and lapping till Draco pulled him down for a heated kiss. He moaned when Draco bit his lower lip, gasping slightly as a wanton hand slipped into his pants.

“Take them off,” Draco breathed and Harry waved their clothes away, cradling Draco to him the next instant.

“How should we do this?” Harry asked, trying to control the strong urge to just fuck his husband senseless. Between Harry’s work and Draco’s own needs, they hadn’t had much sex for a while.

“I don’t want to hurt you Draco,” Harry pressed, stilling his hips when Draco, who had ignored him easily enough, began to grind against him.

“I-I don’t know,” he stuttered, a little dazed, “Just take me?”

Harry smiled. “You’re utterly useless like this,” he said, kissing him affectionately and pushing himself to his knees.

He gathered the pillows that littered their bed and helped prop Draco into a comfortable position with his back against the headboard before snuggling beside him, pulling him into his embrace.

They kissed again and Draco reached between them to stroke Harry’s length. His eyelids fluttered when his husband’s warm hand began rubbing circles on his stomach. Draco moaned into his mouth, gasping when the baby kicked.

“You woke him,” he said as a smile crossed Harry’s lips.

“He’s moving around a lot more,” Harry replied, sliding down the pillows to lay his head on Draco’s stomach. “Think he can hear me?”

Draco rolled his eyes, but found Harry’s childishness endearing. “I’m sure he’ll hear us loud and clear,” he said, cradling Harry’s jaw and running a hand through his dark hair. “Now won’t you let us know how much you love us?”

Harry couldn’t wipe the goofy grin that sparked something warm in him at Draco’s words. He scrambled up and kissed him, wasting no time in reaching between his parted legs, preparing him. He was careful and Draco wished he would stop treating him like glass and just fuck him!

But as soon as Harry entered him, all coherent thoughts left him and he closed his eyes with a sigh.

“Alright?” Harry whispered, planting feathery kisses on the corner of his lips.

“Mm…” Draco answered by pulling Harry closer, making him gasp as he took him deeper. “I need you to move, love.”

Harry wanted nothing more than that, and easily complied, but he was still much more gentle.

“We’re not…going to come any day s-soon with this pace,” Draco breathed.

Harry laughed and ignored his desperation, choosing to nibble on his collar bone instead.

“Harry!” Draco moaned, thrusting his hips, trying to pull him deeper.

Harry stilled his hips and took his mouth, hoping to distract him as he rocked them at the gentle pace. It was pure torture and his erection was screaming at him to fulfill his desires, but the last thing he wanted was to hurt Draco in an utterly teenage explosion of passion.

He knew how sore Draco was these days and they hadn’t had sex in a while. He didn’t want to overdo it.

“Harry,” Draco moaned again, twisting his fingers in Harry’s messy hair to press his mouth more firmly to his. He’d given up trying to increase the pace and lay flush beneath his husband, his cheeks and neck a rosy red from the exertion.

Harry was panting as he tried to keep his control. It didn’t help that Draco’s tight muscles kept clenching around him, reminding him painfully of his arousal.

“Harry…ah!” Draco’s eyes closed tight when Harry hit his prostate and his fingers dug into Harry’s arm. “Harry go faster…Please! I can’t –can’t-“

“Alright, love,” Harry panted, unable to deny himself anymore. “Just tell me if it gets too much.”

Draco was too far gone to reply and only exclaimed his approval when Harry began thrusting faster.

“Yes! God-fuck!” he cried. Eyes closed, he reveled in the sensation of feeling Harry inside him after so long. How had they managed to deny themselves all this time? he vaguely wondered, but his question remained unanswered as stars exploded in his mind’s eye.

With a cry he came and felt Harry tighten before convulsing inside him.  They lay in the dark, panting in the aftermath as they waited to catch their breaths. Harry was the first to recover and he turned on his side, leaning over Draco after spelling them clean.

“Alright, love?” he asked, running a feathery touch along Draco’s flushed cheek. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Draco smiled and caught Harry’s hand, turning it palm up to plant a firm kiss, saying, “You could never hurt me, Harry.”

Harry bent down to kiss him, but Draco’s hands suddenly pushed at his chest, stopping him.

“Draco, what’s wrong?” Harry asked as Draco made to get up.

“You’re son is dancing in there!” he gritted through clenched teeth. “I need the bathroom.”

Harry laughed, feeling sorry for Draco’s plight, and helped him up, stealing a quick kiss before his husband scrambled to the lavatory.

**

Saturday morning found the couple snuggled on the couch. It was drizzling outside and a gloom had fallen over the city. Every once in a while a strong gust of wind threatened to blow the curtains off the only open window in the house.

Draco shivered, feeling suddenly cold.

“What’s wrong, love?” Harry, who seldom missed anything nowadays, asked.

“I’m cold,” came the mumbled reply. Harry promptly waved his finger, shutting the window close before pulling Draco in a tight embrace.

“Better?” he smiled, and Draco nodded, burying his face in Harry’s neck and letting Harry chaff his arms.

The tv droned on in the background as Draco’s eyelids began to droop. He had been particularly tired since yesterday. Cherri had suggested to increase the potion dosage, but its effects remained to be seen.

The Healer had assured them everything was alright, but Draco wasn’t too sure. Since early morning he hadn’t felt his son move. Usually, the kicking was enough to rouse Draco before dawn, but for some reason, he hadn’t moved today and it bugged him.

Absently, he rubbed a hand over his stomach and Harry, who was more interested in watching Draco dose than the soccer game anyways, replaced his pale hand with his own.

“Is he asleep?” he asked after a time.

“Must be,” Draco quietly replied biting down the guilt that rose within him. He hadn’t told Harry anything-not about the pain, and certainly not about this morning.

“Are you hungry?” Harry asked, “It’s past lunch time, but all you’ve done is sleep. I could make you anything you like.”

Draco shook his head, content to remain in his husband’s arms and promptly closed his eyes, feigning sleep when he felt Harry open his mouth to protest. He knew Harry didn’t have the heart to argue with him. He had been so kind these past weeks that Draco almost felt bad manipulating him like the sneaky Slytherin he was.

Harry closed his mouth and kissed his temple instead, saying, “Alright, love, but tell me whenever you’re hungry, hm?”

“Hm…” Draco consented, sighing inwardly as the wall of weariness pushed him into the arms of Sleep.

**

Harry carried Draco back to their bedroom after a time. He knew his husband wouldn’t wake for a few hours. He covered him with blankets and sat by him, taking his limp hand in his own. Harry tried not to show it, but he was worried.

He had called Cherri three times since yesterday, wondering about Draco’s lethargy, but each time Cherri had assured him this was to be expected. Draco was a male and a veela. It was natural for any baby of theirs to drain more magic than normal. One thing was sure, whatever child they had would have an intense magical aura.

But it didn’t do anything to reassure Harry. He had tried asking Draco, but his less-than-talkative husband managed to brush him off each time. Harry had taken to keenly watching him instead, surprised to learn that he could read Draco if he took his time. His husband’s emotions were etched plain as day in his moon grey eyes.

And he had seen them grimacing in pain whenever he moved too fast or too much. He couldn’t stand for too long without swaying. Lengthy showers made him lightheaded and weak, and he was easily exhausted to the point of falling asleep in the middle of a conversation.

Needless to say, Harry hadn’t had much opportunity to satiate his sexual needs, but he could care less about them. All he wanted was Draco back to normal and talking! Merlin, it was a bit lonely without his husband’s intellectual jibes.

Harry sighed and leaned against the kitchen counter, a half peeled carrot in his hand. He wanted a child so much, but had he known how much Draco would have to suffer, he wouldn’t have pushed him to it.

He began dicing the carrot and for the next ten minutes, distracted himself with cooking. Cherri had told him not to prepare any heavy meals because Draco’s stomach was a bit queasy and the last thing they wanted was for him to start upchucking the nutrients his body so needed. Harry had never been one for too much health food, but he had adapted, and learned more healthy, light recipes than any teenage girl in the process.

He was about to whip out plates when a low moan reached him. He stilled and panic seized him when he realized Draco was calling him, but he sounded weak…much too weak. He dashed to their bedroom.

“Draco?” he called sinking to the bed. He was curled on his side, arms wrapped tight around his stomach. His eyes were closed, but his features were contorted in pain.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked, trying to control the fear in his voice.

“It-it hurts!” Draco winced out, biting his lip and gasping when a spasm rocked him. He shuddered in pain. “H-Harry…s-something’s wrong…”

“Shh…”Harry rubbed his back, thinking fast. “I’m going to floo Cherri. Stay still, I’ll be right back love,” he said, giving Draco’s hand a quick squeeze before dashing towards their fireplace.

Draco couldn’t move even if he wanted to. He felt as though something was ripping him apart from the inside. He hadn’t felt the baby move at all and he still couldn’t feel him. He knew the babe was there, possibly safe amidst the veela magic. He only hoped that whatever was trying to kill him didn’t end up hurting the baby.

Cherri came along in no time and she expertly examined Draco, firing questions at Harry who replied in a voice trembling with fear. Draco was too out to understand what panicked exchange went on between them. The pain was becoming too much and he could hear himself whimpering pathetically.

He felt arms encircle him, coaxing him onto his back. Words floated in and out of his consciousness as he tried to hang on.

“…fine, love…I love you…just a little longer…breathe, Draco…” He recognized Harry’s voice-realized how scared he sounded. Was he really that serious? It was just a cramp-he knew he wasn’t in labor. It was too early for that.

But the pain wasn’t going away-only intensifying. Through his hazy vision, he could see bright green eyes, glistening with unshed tears, as they leaned over him. Trembling lips moved, calling his name-saying words he could no longer hear. Everything was spinning. He saw white. Bright lights. The green eyes were no longer there. He couldn’t feel the strong embrace. He saw people with masks peering over him-talking to him. They slipped something over his face and Draco panicked.

What was going on? Where was he and where was Harry? He wanted his husband-he had to see him to know everything was going to be okay. He tried to tell these people with masks, but they were fading. He fought the lethargy even as his mind became numb to the pain. But Morpheus prevailed in the end and dragged him into the welcoming darkness.

 A Painful Awakening

“Harry?”

Harry looked up, red eyed, and almost bawled at the sight of his two best friends. They sat on either side of him, concern etched clearly in their eyes.

“We came soon as we heard, mate,” Ron said putting an arm around Harry’s shaking shoulders while Hermione chaffed his back soothingly and took his cold hands in hers.

“You know what happened?” Harry croaked, his voice hoarse from crying, forgetting that he had filled their names on the medical forms as “To Inform In The Case of Emergencies.”

“Only that Draco was taken to the hospital,” Hermione replied. “Harry…” she knelt before him and peered into his blood shot eyes. “-Harry what happened?”

He shook his head, tears falling down once again. “I-I don’t know,” he breathed, “He was sleeping- I was in the kitchen. When he called me, I went in and…God! Hermione, he was in so much pain! He couldn’t even move! I called Cherri-she said-she said there was internal damage and when we made to turn him on his back he-he started coughing blood!”

Harry trembled, biting his lip as the horrible sight came to mind. “I don’t think he even realized he was coughing blood-he was so out of it-“

“But that’s good, isn’t it?” Hermione quietly supplied, trying to reassure him in some small way. “And you brought him here quickly enough. They’ll probably get the bleeding in control…”

She fell silent, unable to say anymore.

“How long has he been?” Ron asked at last, seeing as Harry had calmed down a bit.

“Two hours. They haven’t told me anything.”

They sat in silence again for a time. Ron left to get them something to drink and returned with three mugs of smoking butter beer, two sandwiches, and a fruit cup. He made Harry drink and wouldn’t leave him alone till he’d finished at least half of a sandwich. Eating was the last thing on his mind, but Harry complied if only to please his friends.

“Where’s Jenny?” he asked after a time.

“At a friend’s,” Hermione replied as she finished her fruit cup.

“Although she wanted to come see you,” Ron said. “She misses you, Harry.”

Harry smiled thinly on hearing that. “I miss her too,” he said in small voice.

He looked up again, unable to stop the traitorous tears as he spoke with quivering lips, “Hermione what-what am I going to do if I lose him? I c-can’t-“

“Harry!” she pulled him to her, holding him in a tight embrace as he shook. “Don’t talk like that! Draco’s going to be alright-you’ll see-and the baby too. They’re both going to be ok Harry.”

He desperately wanted to believe her and closed his eyes, burying his head in her bushy hair, inhaling the scent of her perfume which strangely reminded him of Draco and somewhat soothed him.

Ron looked a little lost as he watched his wife comforting his best friend. He wanted to reassure Harry, but was at a loss for words. Not for the first time, he was grateful that Hermione managed to keep a level head and gave her an approving nod when she looked at him with teary eyes.

**

Three more hours passed. The friends waited in the lobby. Harry was beside himself with worry and they had had to comfort him several more times when he broke down crying. Needless to say, his eyes were swollen and red and still brimming with unshed tears.

It broke Hermione’s heart to see him this way and she only prayed that Draco and the baby were alright. She hated to think what would happen to Harry if he lost either of them-especially Draco. Ron had volunteered himself to call up Narcissa and let her know. She had to be told eventually so Harry had consented, a little reluctantly.

He went to the bathroom to clean up a bit before he had to face his mother-in-law. Splashing his face with cold water, he dared to examine himself in the mirror. He looked terrible. His eyes were swollen and rosy from crying. His face was unnaturally pale and there was the haunted look in his eyes that hadn’t been there since the war. He didn’t want to lose Draco-he couldn’t!

When he came out, he saw Narcissa sitting on the bench, crying silently while Hermione, of all people, comforted her. She was wringing a handkerchief in her pale hands, her lips moving soundlessly to whatever Hermione whispered to her.

“She didn’t take it well, mate,” Ron said, when Harry joined them.

He licked his lips nervously. “Mrs. Malfoy?”

She looked up and her eyes grew wide when she took in his dreadful state.

“Harry-“ and she held out her thin hand, which he took, surprised. She tugged him on the bench beside her, wiping her eyes a little hastily.

“How are you holding up, dear?” she asked in a motherly voice. Harry’s heart ached when she reached up to tenderly brush back his wet bangs. He didn’t deserve her affection or her forgiveness.

“I’m…I’ll-I’ll be alright,” he stuttered, trying to control the tears that pricked his eyes. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Malfoy. I couldn’t-he-“

“Shh, it’s alright,” and she pulled him into her embrace, much like Hermione had, letting him cry on her shoulder while she stroked his back. “Draco is a strong boy and his veela magic will protect the baby. They’ll be alright, Harry. They’ll both be…” but her voice faltered as she succumbed to crying and now it was Harry’s turn to comfort the poor mother.

He couldn’t even imagine what she was going through. It was one thing to lose a lover, quite another to lose one’s own child.

It was a while after they had both calmed that the doors finally opened and Cherri walked through. Harry at once jumped to his feet.

“How is he?” he asked before she could even greet him.

She must have read his anxiety because she wasted no time in answering. “He’s alright, Harry,” she smiled, “We’ll have to monitor him for a few more days and he’s a bit weak, but he’ll recover physically in time.”

Harry licked his lips and let the flood of relief wash over him briefly. “And the baby?”

Cherri’s smile faltered. She placed a hand on Harry’s shoulder and he tensed. “He was hemorrhaging, Harry. We had no choice, but to remove the baby. It was either Draco or the babe, but even if we managed to save the baby, he would not have survived outside the womb for more than a couple days. I hope you understand, Harry.”

Harry simply nodded, speechless. On the one hand, he was glad Draco was alright, but on the other…He had lost their child. Their son, their baby, was no more.

“Can I see him?” he asked in a hoarse whisper.

“He’s heavily sedated, but yes, you may, although I can only allow family in for now.”

She squeezed his shoulder briefly before walking away.

“Harry, you should see him,” Hermione said. They had heard everything of course.

Harry nodded, but turned to Narcissa. “Would you like to see him first?” He thought it only polite to ask. That was her son in there after all.

She gave him a quizzical look before smiling thinly. “I’ll see him after, Harry. Go in.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. Trying to calm his heart which wanted to beat its way out of his chest it seemed, Harry pushed through the double doors and walked to the bed with bated breath.

Draco lay pale as a ghost upon the white sheets. His eyes were closed. Harry’s stomach sank when he realized they had hooked him to an I.V. Draco hated needles. Pink liquid bubbled in the bag as it dripped into the tubes that snaked into Draco’s wrist.

Harry pulled a chair by his side and tentatively took his limp hand in his own. It was warm and there was a pulse there that greatly reassured Harry. His eyes drifted over Draco’s stomach, concealed under the sheets. It was flat-much too flat.

He closed his eyes and bit his lips, wondering how in the world he would face Draco. They had defied his wish. He hadn’t been asked because of the emergency, but if Cherri had given Harry a choice, Harry would have still chosen Draco over their unborn child.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered hoarsely, caressing Draco’s pale cheek with the back of his hand as he held Draco’s own limp hand tightly in his other. “I love you.”

He brushed back strands of golden hair off the high forehead and kissed Draco’s palm. He knew his husband would be alright. He would wake up soon and speak to him. Harry longed to hear that voice-longed to have his Draco back.

He slowly stood and gently folded Draco’s hand back on the bed before reluctantly sweeping himself out the doors. Narcissa was waiting outside. He gave her a nod and she went in, anxiety plain in her eyes.

As soon as he was alone with his friends again, Harry sank to the floor, sobbing as Anguish gripped him in its merciless claws.

**

Ron sighed as he drained his fifth cup of coffee. He leaned against the wall and watched the staff bustle about. A half hour ago, they had moved Draco from Emergency to his own room. He was still being monitored and hadn’t stirred a muscle.

Nurses kept coming in and out of his room. Harry, Hermione, Mrs. Malfoy…they were all in there and hadn’t left his side. As concerned as he was for his mate, Ron couldn’t stand the morbid atmosphere and had decided to wait in the lobby. The silence in there reminded him too much of the time when his own father had been hospitalized and tittering on the brink.

He threw away his paper mug and was about to head down to the café for a refill when Hermione emerged from the doors, looking disheveled and worn.

“Hey,” he greeted her softly, kissing her forehead as she went willingly into his embrace. “How’s he doing?”

“Not so well,” she replied. “He needs to rest, Ron. I tried to tell him, but…”

“Do you want me to talk to him?” he offered.

She looked up and gave him a thin smile. “I think he’ll listen to you.”

He nodded. “Go eat something, hon. Get something for Mrs. Malfoy too. I’ll take care of Harry.”

With a grateful smile and a peck on his lips, Hermione ventured down to the cafeteria. In times of need, she was glad her husband was so compassionate.

Ron took a deep breath before entering the small room. Draco lay just as before: eyes closed, face strangely pale under the white sheets. They had taken him off the I.V. and were now simply waiting for him to come around.

Harry was sitting in his usual spot by his bed, his hand intertwined in Draco’s pale one tightly. He wasn’t crying now, but staring wistfully at Draco’s peaceful features. Every once in a while he reached out and caressed his cheek or brushed back blonde strands with such longing that Ron’s heart ached to watch.

Mrs. Malfoy regarded him silently from her seat near the foot of her son’s bed. She seemed much calmer now that they knew Draco would be alright.

“Hermione has gone to get something to eat for you, Mrs. Malfoy,” he informed her just to fill in the odd silence.

She inclined her head and gave him a thin smile as thanks.

“Ron, you should all go rest,” Harry croaked, removing his eyes from the prone form to meet his mate’s. “You’ve been up half the night with me.”

Ron regarded his rosy eyes and haggard features before calmly replying, “I’ll rest if you do, Harry.”

He shook his head. “I’m not leaving him. Take Mrs. Malfoy and Hermione to our place.”

He sighed, defeated. He knew that look in Harry’s eyes all too well. No amount of persuasion was going to dissuade him from leaving Draco’s side now.

When Hermione returned with a tray of sandwiches and drinks, Ron quietly relayed Harry’s message.

“I’ll watch over him, ‘Mione-make sure he’ll sleep a bit. Mrs. Malfoy looks tired and you’ve been on your feet almost the whole night. Go home and rest.”

She wanted to protest, but knew what Ron said was right. They convinced Draco’s mother to have a bit of rest and Ron saw them off to the floo.

When Ron went back inside, he pulled a chair next to Harry saying, “Well, it’s just you and me now mate. We won’t leave Draco, but I want you to stretch out on the cushions. I’ll wake you when he comes around.”

“I’m fine,” Harry replied, but Ron would have none of it.

“I listened to you and shoed them away, now you have to close your eyes for a bit, Harry. Draco won’t recognize you if you look like that.”

Harry managed a thin smile at Ron’s poor attempt at humor and reluctantly reclined on the sofa against the back wall. Ron took his place as he watched. He saw him take Draco’s limp hand in his own before Sleep swooped down and closed his tired eyes.

**

“Harry? Harry, wake up.”

Harry was up at once, eyes wide. “What? Is he…” His eyes fell on Draco’s prone form and he saw his fingers twitch. Without another word, he crossed the small distance and was by the bedside, holding Draco’s hand and coaxing him to consciousness.

Draco’s thin lips parted as he groggily opened his eyes. It took him a while to focus on the anxious man leaning over him. He saw the familiar green eyes-so beautiful and bright. They were glistening with tears again.

“Harry,” he croaked, his voice so weak that it was a mere whisper.

“Oh god, Draco!” Harry broke down, unable to restrain the tears as they fell from his lashes onto Draco’s pale cheeks.

He kissed Draco’s hand with wet lips and then leaned down to press kisses all over Draco’s temple, his cheeks, his chapped lips…

“Harry,” Draco gasped, feeling a bit dizzy.

Harry drew back, wiping his eyes hastily. “S-sorry, I just-you were-you gave us a scare, Draco,” he stuttered. “But you’re going to be alright now. Everything’s going to be alright.”

Draco wanted to laugh, he tried to, but his insides hurt and he grimaced. His trembling hands trailed to his side and he gasped.

“Harry! Wh-the-the baby…” he looked wide-eyed at his husband who seemed to have frozen. “What happened to the baby?” he demanded, his voice quivering as the tears rose to his tired eyes.

When Harry remained still as a statue, Draco’s resolve broke and he began to shake.

“H-he’s g-gone! I can’t-I c-can’t-“

“Shh..” Harry finally pulled himself together, seeing Draco fall apart, and gathered him as tenderly as he could in his arms. It was awkward as Draco couldn’t sit up because of the pain and Harry was sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning over Draco so he could wrap his arms around the trembling shoulders.

“Harry…I can’t-he’s g-gone!” Draco sobbed, his voice muffled against Harry’s shoulder. Harry held his own tears in check as he hugged Draco tightly, his hands running up and down his trembling frame.

“They had to take him out, Draco,” he softly explained, “You were-you were hemorrhaging-the baby wouldn’t have survived-“

“No!” and Draco wrenched himself away with such force that Harry almost staggered off the bed. He grabbed the bed frame to steady himself and eyed Draco with wide eyes.

“You promised, Harry!” Draco seethed, his face a mask of such fury that Harry only stared, speechless. He had never seen Draco so angry. “I told you to choose our child’s life if something like this ever happened, but you didn’t listen, did you?”

Harry snapped to his senses at that. “How could I Draco?” he cried, not caring that their voices were steadily rising and that his best mate was standing uncomfortably by the door. “You know I can’t kill you-I told you I wouldn’t-“

“You said you wouldn’t, but did you ever bother asking me what I wanted, Harry?” Draco shouted back, “Did you forget that it was I who carried our child for five months? Did you forget how real and alive he felt inside me? You saw him, Harry, you felt him and yet still you-you murdered our child! How could you?!”

Draco was trembling now, with rage as much as the exertion. He took a sharp breath and suddenly closed his eyes when a jolt of pain shot through his abdomen.

Noting his discomfort, Harry shoved aside his rising anger and leaned over him, pushing him gently to lie back down on the pillows.

“Cherri said you’ll be sore for a bit,” he murmured when Draco wordlessly let Harry push him down. “You were bleeding internally. There was-god Draco! There was so much blood!” and Harry’s eyes teared when he remembered the horrible sight and how scared he had been and how frantically they had rushed Draco to the hospital. “I-I thought you were going to leave me,” he whispered and bit his quivering lower lip.

Draco remained silent, staring with hard eyes at Harry’s sorry state. He didn’t need Harry to tell him to know how scared he had been. He could see it in his blood shot eyes and haggard face.

A little reluctantly, he pulled Harry’s head down so that it rested on his shoulder. Harry sank onto the bed and wrapped his arms about Draco’s waist, letting his tears soak the thin gown. Draco simply held him while he released all the pent up emotions. His own eyes were misty, but his heart felt strangely hollow.

Ron had left them in peace some time back and enclosed them in privacy. When Draco felt Harry had sufficiently calmed, he cradled Harry’s jaw in his hands, forcing him to look into his eyes.

“I know you love me, Harry,” he said in a calm, but strangely frail voice, “and you know I love you, but I can’t forgive what you’ve done. I can’t forgive you for killing our child-“

“But Draco I-he-he would have died anyways!” Harry exclaimed, pleading to Draco with desperate eyes to understand.

Draco searched his green eyes for a second, his own eyes giving away nothing, before dropping his hands and looking away.

“Maybe,” he said, “but he could have lived…and now we’ll never know.”

Harry opened and closed his mouth like a suffocated fish. He wanted to say something, but his sleep deprived brain was so muddled that he could only stare as tears pricked his eyes again.

“Don’t do this to yourself, Draco,” he finally whispered, his voice a desperate plea. “I love you and I-I need you.”

Draco closed his eyes and turned his face away. “I need to sleep. I’m tired,” he murmured. “Go get some rest. You look awful.”

Harry tried to hide his hurt, but if Draco had chanced to look, he would have seen it plain as day.  Draco was pushing him away again and it bloody well hurt! Did he think he was the only one saddened by what had happened? Did he think Harry felt no remorse for murdering their little life?

Harry bit his lower lip and stood, staring at Draco’s closed eyes and pinched features. He wanted to hold him-to seek his comfort, but knew that at the moment, Draco had none to give.

“I’ll be back in the evening,” he said and, when he received no reply, left with a defeated sigh.

 A Start

Harry and Ron flooed home, Narcissa having taken their place. Harry supposed it was best for him to stay away from Draco for the time being. If Draco wasn’t going to open up to him, then he hoped Narcissa’s motherly concern would be enough.

He crashed on their bed once home, but of course sleep didn’t come for a long time. He lay staring at the ceiling, feeling utterly numb and empty. Only one thought swam in his head: they had lost their child-their son, their babe, was no more.

He recalled the tiny bundle of love curled in Draco’s stomach and tears sprung to his eyes. Harry didn’t bother holding back. He cried, his hoarse sobs echoing awkwardly through the quiet house.

**

He couldn’t recall when he had fallen asleep, but when Harry came around, it was already morning. He dragged himself to the bathroom, thinking only of Draco as he tried to clean up. He looked horrible, the circles dark under his eyes which were still rosy from his hard cry.

Half his mind was occupied with thoughts of Draco as he walked towards the hearth and so he didn’t see when Hermione approached him.

“Harry-“

“Hermione!” he started. “What are you-? You didn’t go home?”

She gave him a small, tired smile. “No, I kept Mrs. Malfoy company through the night. She insisted on being by Draco’s side. Ron took Jenny home.”

Harry nodded. “Why didn’t you wake me?”

“You needed rest, Harry-“and time to gather yourself “-I didn’t have the heart to wake you. Mrs. Malfoy is still at the hospital.”

Harry tensed. “He’s not doing well, is he?”

Hermione sighed and sadly nodded. “He was crying half the night. They finally gave him Dreamless Sleep to calm his nerves.” She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear before piercing him with her large, brown eyes.

“Harry, Draco’s going to need all the love and understanding you can give. I know he’s not the only one suffering, but he’s emotionally and mentally unstable right now. You’re going to have to be really patient with him, Harry.”

He nodded. “Yeah….yeah, I know. I’ll try to do the best I can, but I can only help him if he lets me, ‘Mione. You know how closed off he is, never letting me in. I know we can get through this together, but only if he lets me help him-“

“He will,” she assured him, “But you might have to be forceful. He’s depressed, Harry. You’re going to have to break his barrier on your own to reach out to him, but I know that if you do, he’ll let you guide him because Draco loves you. As much as he’ll try to push you away, he longs to have you by his side.”

She was right of course. “I guess I shouldn’t have left him yesterday…” He sighed when she merely nodded and ran his fingers through his coarse hair. He felt a bit more composed than yesterday. Taking a deep breath, he took her leave before stepping into the floo.

**

The hospital was quiet on a Sunday. Harry made his way to Draco’s room and hesitated just a moment before turning the knob.

Narcissa looked up when she saw Harry step in. She was holding Draco’s hand as he slept. A tray of food lay untouched on the side table.

“Harry,” she offered him a thin smile as he pulled a chair on the other side of the bed, eyes on Draco. “He fell asleep sometime ago.”

“He hasn’t eaten?” Harry asked, pointing to the full plate.

She sighed and shook her head. “No, but you must convince him to eat something. He’s weak as it is. If he stops eating they’ll never let him leave the hospital.”

Harry promised her that he would and reached over to brush the strands from Draco’s forehead. He was still pale, the dark circles under his eyes more pronounced. It hurt Harry to see him so.  

“He should be waking soon,” Narcissa said, getting up to leave. She gently folded Draco’s arm across his stomach and leaned down to kiss his forehead.  “I told him I would go rest, but if you need anything Harry, I’ll be a floo call away.”

“Yeah, thank you,” he replied, grateful for her understanding.

She patted his shoulder before leaving them in privacy. Harry sighed once alone and clasped Draco’s hand in his.

**

It wasn’t until another hour that Draco stirred. He lay staring at the ceiling, aware that someone was holding his hand and feeling too weak to turn his head to look, but he didn’t have to. He already knew who it was from the feel of the coarse palm and warm fingers.

“Draco?” followed the soft voice tinged with concern.

Draco let Harry caress his cheek as he leaned over him. There was a sadness in his eyes that made Draco’s heart ache.

“You need to eat something, love,” Harry whispered, brushing golden strands off his forehead.

“Not hungry,” Draco meekly replied, too tired to argue much more.

“I know, but they won’t let you come home till you start eating,” and Harry pulled the tray closer as he spoke. Draco pushed himself up slowly with some help from Harry and wrinkled his nose when he saw the bland food.

Harry smiled, interpreting the expression easily. “Is there anything you want me to bring you, love?” he asked.

Draco met his eyes, wanting so much to simply curl up and fade away, but the love in Harry’s emerald eyes made him swallow his selfish thoughts.

“Chocolate,” he murmured, “I want chocolate.”

**

Harry couldn’t stop smiling as he watched Draco lick his fingers after finishing a particularly large chocolate truffle.

“Wipe that goofy grin off your face, Harry,” Draco said, feeling a bit stronger.

Harry grinned instead and poured him a glass of water without him asking. Draco accepted the drink and drank quietly. He traced the rim of the empty glass with his finger thoughtfully. When he looked up, he saw Harry watching him with concern again.

Sighing, Draco handed him the empty glass and sank against the cushions.

“Draco?” Harry called, but Draco refused to look at him.

He closed his eyes and tried to will himself to sleep. The last thing he needed was another reminder of what had happened.

**

“He’s depressed,” Hermione said firmly when Harry told her of his hospital visit.

Harry had figured that much out himself. Draco had never before blocked him out like that.

“Then what do I do?” he asked, rubbing his forehead and wishing he didn’t have a headache.

Hermione wrung her hands nervously next to him. “I don’t know Harry,” she honestly replied. “I-I don’t know much about depression and since he is a veela…Maybe you could talk it out with him?”

Harry shook his head. “Not if he doesn’t want to, I can’t. He hardly says anything since we brought him home. He just stays in bed all day-yesterday I came home and found him staring out the window at nothing! It’s like he doesn’t even realize what’s going on around him Hermione! And it scares me…He doesn’t eat unless I sit with him and make sure he does. I-I don’t even know what he does all day when I’m not home.”

He sighed and looked up to meet his friend’s worried gaze. The tea between them lay untouched, it’s warmth slowly wafting.

“Harry,” Hermione began, reaching out to clasp his hand across the table. “I think you should take time off work and stay home with him. I think your presence might soothe him. If nothing else, it might get him to open up to you.”

Harry sighed and nodded. He never had much chance to use his vacation passes because Draco never took time off his work. It was as good a time as any to use up the pile.

**

They had brought Draco home two days earlier, after Cherri gave him the all clear. He was still a bit weak and more often than not, he had trouble keeping anything down, but he was trying to eat and that was more than enough.

He had changed, that much anyone who had known Draco even remotely would be able to tell.  For one, he was much too quiet and he seemed to have lost an interest in everything he used to find joy in, such as reading, music, and – most of all- potions.

Even a week later, when they resumed to some semblance of their normal routine, the cauldrons and stores remained untouched. Harry was almost sorry to see Draco around so much. He seemed to have lost the will to live and it really hurt Harry. He had refused to return to University and a call had come in yesterday saying they needed an answer or they would find someone else. Draco told them to find someone else.

He sat day in and day out staring at absolutely nothing, as though someone in a waking coma. Harry hated the silence that haunted him every time he came home. He wanted to shake Draco out of his phase, but knew he had no right to push him anymore. So he tried to pick up the pieces best he could, talking out loud even though he knew his words fell on deaf ears.

He could see the pain that clouded Draco’s grey moons, both physical and emotional and it made his heart ache. As Cherri had predicted, Draco suffered from back pain and sometimes limped because of the bone pain in his hip. There was nothing they could do for his hip-the magic intermingled with bone pain was irreversible, but she prescribed salves for his back and potions for his frequent headaches.

Two weeks after Draco’s discharge and with Draco delving deeper in depression, Harry decided it was time for the vacation. He came home one evening with his arms full of groceries and his head finally clear from thoughts of work.

“Draco?” he called as he dumped the bags on the dining table. “Draco, I’m home!”

Draco emerged a few minutes later from their bedroom. He was still dressed in his pajamas and his eyes were red.

“Harry,” he whispered as Harry closed the space between them and held Draco tightly in his arms.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, feeling him tremble.

“I-I had a d-dream,” he sobbed, “-about him! I lost-lost him all over again, Harry!”

Harry knew Draco suffered from nightmares-he had felt him jolt awake in his sleep more than once-but this was the first time he appeared so distressed.

“Hush, love. It was just a dream,” Harry whispered, chaffing his back as Draco held tightly to him.

He was sobbing quietly, his face buried against Harry’s shoulder. “I can’t stop th-thinking about him,” he hiccupped. “I-I can’t-“

Harry gathered Draco in his arms and carried him to their room, pulling him close once they sank upon the mattress. He rocked him gently till his tremors subsided and his sobs muffled to occasional sniffs.

“Draco,” he softly murmured, running his fingers through his soft hair, “I took time off work for a month.”

Draco looked up at that. “Wh-what?” and hiccupped.

Harry ran gentle fingers down Draco’s wet cheek. “I’m going to be home, with you, for a whole month. I think it’ll be good for us both to take time off and spend it together.”

“You don’t h-have to do this for me-“ he began, but Harry gently cut him off.

“It’s as much for me as it is for you,” he said. “I need to know you’re going to be ok, Draco-“

“I’m fine-“

“No! No, you’re not.” He sighed and suddenly pulled Draco into his arms again. The blonde sank in his embrace, holding onto his shirt as though for dear life.

“You can tell me otherwise, Draco, but I know you’re falling apart. I see it everyday and I don’t blame you, but…I-I want to help you, please-“ and he looked into his husband’s tear-streaked eyes, “-please, let me help you? I want us to get through this together. I…need you, Draco.”

Draco gulped audibly. He knew what Harry said was true. He wasn’t alright and he needed Harry, perhaps more than ever and he could see in his lover’s pained eyes that he needed him as well.

“What…do you have in mind?” he whispered after a time.

Harry smiled, though it didn’t reach his eyes, and pecked him on the lips.

“To escape, possibly somewhere…just the tow of us alone, together. Would you like that?”

Draco slowly nodded. “Where?”

“Anywhere you want-“

“No,” Draco suddenly cut in, startling Harry. “You choose. I don’t care where.” And he pulled Harry closer as he spoke.

“Alright, love,” he whispered, brushing back blonde bangs and planting a kiss just where Draco’s widows peak grew.

Draco closed his eyes and let Harry’s love wash over him. He felt safe in his arms and comforted despite what had happened. Just for this brief moment, he felt he could forget. Just for now, he let himself forget and let his mind drift as Harry rocked him in his arms.

~ Finished 2/14/12