ACA: Chapter 1

A Constant Ache

Summary: Returning for his last year at Hogwarts, Draco has to suffer through an impending disability and endure animosity from his own House, feeling as though the weight of the world rests on his weak shoulders-until Hermione offers to share the burden that is.  HBP not compliant.

Note: Starts during their seventh and last year at Hogwarts. Harry supposedly defeated Voldemort during their sixth year after Draco let the Death Eaters inside Hogwarts. Dumbledore and Snape are both alive. The Weasley twins are both alive and well.

"The worst pain a man can suffer: to have insight into much, and power over nothing."

-Herodotus (Greek philosopher)

Chapter 1

It was the start of a new year-their seventh year to be precise. Draco rolled onto his back on his large, four-poster bed and stared at the magically enchanted ceiling. He traced the floating constellations, naming stars and nebulas he had learned in Astronomy the previous year till a loud crack announced his house elf, calling him to breakfast. He simply nodded, too tired to respond. He felt weak and his joints ached all over. This was nothing new to him-not now anyways.

Since the last half of sixth year he had been feeling run down. He couldn’t sleep and if he did manage to doze off, he always woke up exhausted. It wasn’t too bad at first, but now he just simply couldn’t sleep at all. Half the night he stared at the ceiling, counting the changing stars. If he closed his eyes, it was only to startle awake less than a half hour later and the viscous cycle began again.

Slowly, Draco pushed himself up and closed his eyes, letting his weary muscles relax under the strain. Mornings were never good to him. He was stiff and rigid. Gingerly, he stretched his arms, slowly unbending the elbows and sighing when the pain reverted to a dull ache. Then he swung his legs over the bed and supported himself up, swaying slightly with the effort. For a whole two minutes, Draco tested his weight, shifting from one foot to the other till the shooting pain subsided somewhat.

Confident his legs wouldn’t buckle beneath him, he stumbled to the bathroom, yawning widely. His pale, sleepy reflection stared at him in the mirror. Draco briefly examined the shadows under his eyes with a frown before turning away and furiously brushing his teeth. The action earned him a throbbing arm and bleeding gums. Sighing in frustration, Draco cleaned up and dawning fresh clothes, made his way down to breakfast.

His mother was already there, staring unblinkingly at the untouched food before her.

“Morning Mother,” Draco greeted for politeness’ sake as he scraped a chair across from her.

Narcissa looked up as though in a dream and slowly blinked. “Did you pack?” she asked in a dull, lifeless voice.

“Last night,” Draco replied, helping himself to crepes and strawberries. “Will you see me to the station?”

He was hoping she would come, even if it was to only wave him off to school, but Narcissa disappointed him with a pointy nod. They resumed eating in silence.

Draco chewed slowly, trying to ignore the aching in his jaw. He wanted to crawl back into bed and remain there for the rest of eternity.

“Draco-“ He looked up, eyeing his mother’s drawn features. “I need to tell you something.”

He laid down his fork and gave her his full attention.

“I-“ Narcissa hesitated, “-I’m thinking of moving to Germany.”

When Draco said nothing, she continued, “I’ve been thinking about it since Lucious’s arrest. You’ll finish your last year at Hogwarts and after you’ll be busy building your own life. The way things stand, I don’t play much of a role in your life-“

“What are you saying Mother? You know I’ll always need you.” Draco’s voice shook slightly, but he hoped she didn’t notice.

“And I’ll be there if you do, but you’re an adult now, Draco. You don’t need me to constantly care for you and I-well I just need some time for myself.” She met his eyes then as though awaiting his approval.

“Germany…” he slowly repeated and gulped inaudibly. “I take you’ll be staying at your sister’s?”

Narcissa sighed heavily. “Yes. Your father never approved of Andromeda, but she and I were always close. She helped me a lot during your time and I long to make up those lost years with her.”

He nodded then, though the action sent pain shooting up his neck. “A change might do you good, Mother. Will you be leaving today?”

“Yes, after lunch,” she replied, relieved. She picked up her fork and daintily cut a strawberry in half. “And Draco, I might not be coming back at all this year. I don’t know if London will ever be the same for me again. You may have to spend the holidays at Hogwarts.”

Alone. Draco’s heart clenched. He had been looking forward to spending Christmas with his Mother. It had been two years since they had done something as normal as it was, although it wouldn’t be the same without Lucious. He supposed he wasn’t invited to Germany either.

“Very well, Mother, if that’s your wish…”

Narcissa studied her son silently for a time as she finished breakfast. He had grown again over the summer-not too much, but enough to reach taller than his father. She smiled at that, thinking about Lucious having to look up at his son-not that he would be seeing him for a long time. Lucious had been sentenced to Azkaban after his capture since the fall of the Dark Lord the previous year. His sentence had been announced to at least ten years and he had been kept in isolation, denied family visits, till the “Ministry deemed him fit for repentance.”

Narcissa had known this would befall them eventually. Ever since Lucious took to following that monster, she had feared for her family’s well-being. Draco had taken the news hard, though he rarely showed it.

“Did you sleep well, love?” she suddenly asked, “You look tired.”

He looked up at her unexpected inquiry and shrugged. “The usual, Mother. You know how I get when the weather changes.” It was a lie, but if Narcissa suspected anything, she remained silent. If there was one thing she had learned about her son, it was to let him reveal things in his own time. Draco didn’t react well to emotional manipulation, and he certainly wasn’t very open with his feelings.

“Well, perhaps a short nap on the train will fare you well. Be sure to eat lots of fruits, Draco, and drink plenty of pumpkin juice. You hardly eat healthy-“  if anything at all, she didn’t need to add.

“I will,” he simply said and they finished breakfast in silence. He wished sometimes that she cared more.

**

Hermione Granger stepped onto the platform with a sense of purpose. She was going to make a difference this year, she firmly decided as she hugged her parents good-bye. Ron and Harry joined her as she was loading her trunk into the train.

“Feels great doesn’t it?” Harry asked with a huge grin. He had never looked happier.

“With Voldemort gone and a whole new year at Hogwarts without complications? Of course it does!” she agreed as Ginny bounded towards them, reaching her hand out to Harry.

They’d begun dating over the summer. Hermione had always known it was bound to happen, what with Ginny’s “Harry obsession” and Harry’s prolonged longing for his best friend’s sister. Ron merely turned his back to them, having reluctantly accepted the idea, and said,

“So, uh, I ‘spect you’ll be busy this year, what with your new duties. You’ll still find time to hang out with us at the Common Room though? You know, for Harry’s sake. He worries about you when you aren’t around.”

Hermione gave him her best smile. “If I didn’t know better, Ronald, I’d think you were asking time with me…alone.”

Her words had the desired reaction. Ron’s ears turned beat red and laughing, Hermione boarded the train just as the whistle blew. They waved to the Weasleys and the Grangers assembled to see them off and then went in search of an empty compartment.

“I swear, there are more students this year than all our other years put together!” Ginny remarked after ten minutes of going from one compartment to the next. They were all full without a single, spare seat!

“You’d think they’d have one booked for Harry or something…” Ron mumbled, to which Hermione rolled her eyes.

“We haven’t tried there,” Harry began, but Ginny squeezed his hand, halting him.

“Those are the Slytherin compartments, Harry. We don’t want to go there.”

“But it’s not as though they’re restricted. Besides, the way I saw it, there were far fewer Slytherins boarding. They’re bound to have an empty compartment or two.”

“He’s got a point, you know,” Ron vouched.

“Well, let’s not start anything…” Hermione pressed as the boys led the way into the black and velvet green corridor. It was eerily silent.

The compartments that were occupied had the doors thrown open, as though the Slytherins dare not keep any secrets from their House mates. The four made their way, trying not to return the angry glares and scowls sent their way. When they came to the end of the corridor, only a single compartment remained, and it was closed shut.

“Come on,” Ron said and slid the door open.

They had been so sure that this one was unoccupied that the sight of the blonde boy somewhat startled them. He was sitting in the corner farthest from the door, his head leaning against the cool glass window. A cloak was thrown haphazardly over his slumped form.

“Do you think he’s asleep?” Harry asked when his nemesis didn’t move.

Hermione took a tentative step inside and when she found after a moment that she hadn’t been hexed on the spot, whispered, “Malfoy?”

He remained unresponsive. “He’s asleep,” she confirmed, turning to her friends with a look as though asking, what are you still doing outside?

“Of all the bloody compartments!” Ron spat and cursed under his breath, nevertheless following them in and shutting the door.

“Why is he alone?” Harry wondered as he, Ginny, and Ron promptly slid in the cushion opposite the snoozing Slytherin. That left Hermione on his side of the bench. A little reluctantly, as though afraid of waking a sleeping dragon, she sat down in the corner farthest from him near the door.  It was then that she noticed the frayed book lying open next to him on the seat. A closer look told her it was the textbook for Ancient Runes. Funny, she hadn’t thought Malfoy had an interest in the subject.

“Maybe they abandoned him,” Ginny was saying to Harry. “His House probably doesn’t think very highly of him now that Lucious is out of power.”

“Serves him right,” Ron snorted. “His dad’s rotting in Azkaban, isn’t he? If you ask me, the whole lot of them should have been locked up and Lucious should have gotten the Kiss-“

“Ronald!” Hermione cried, alarmed, “How can you say that? Lucious might deserve the punishment, but Malfoy was forced into the mess. I don’t think he was responsible.”

Harry clenched his jaw, but said nothing. He knew his opinion was starkly different than Hermione’s-she was just too kind. He actually agreed with Ron this once. Malfoy had almost caused Dumbledore’s death, letting the Death Eaters inside the castle. If anything, he deserved a fate worse than what he led those innocent students and families to at the hands of the Death Eaters.

“What are they thinking by letting him come back anyways?” Ginny asked.

Harry shrugged, unsure. “Dumbledore probably forgives him, although I doubt anyone else does.”

Hermione glanced at the blonde. His hair stuck out over the top of the cloak he had snuggled under. “I think you’re right, Harry. That’s probably why he’s here alone.”

And as they watched, Draco stirred just barely. Before they had even registered his movement, he started awake and screamed.